this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2024
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[–] Furbag@lemmy.world 33 points 2 days ago

Normal people: Biden being silly for the kids at an event.

Conservatives: Biden, running critically low on adrenochromes at a White House event, goes full mask off and attempts to bite a baby in the full view of the public to get at the nourishing blood supply in it's youthful veins before the foul necromancy that binds him to this mortal coil wanes and the shell that houses his damned soul is reduced to the dust of aeons gone by.

[–] LANIK2000@lemmy.world 51 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Americans can turn anything into a controversy, well anything except a convicted rapist vocally announcing his plans to start mass killing civilians using the army.

Honestly, I don't care anymore. Next week nobody will remember, and they'll find another random thing to yell about.

[–] Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I really hope that's true. As it stands I may have to flee the country if i don't want to be dragged into the street and executed simply for existing.

[–] Entropywins@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Over my dead body friend...you are staying here and we are all fixing this country. No joke, no exaggeration, the union did it once we can do it again.

[–] InverseParallax@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Family is safely outside, but man you are right about the union fixing this once.

Our fault for not finishing the job.

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[–] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 44 points 2 days ago (7 children)

How have we arrived in a world where a grandpa can't tell a corny grandpa joke anymore.

Next you're going to term me that pretending to take your kids nose is akin to threatening torture under the Geneva convention...

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] TheObviousSolution@lemm.ee 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

YOU FOOL! He's going to think you are a peach now, RUN!

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

Don't you kink shame me!

[–] ApeNo1@lemm.ee 274 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 35 points 3 days ago

This is one of those comments I read, think it's clever, click back and start to move on. Then I audibly chuckle and have to come back and upvote it. Well done :)

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

Take my upvote and get out

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 230 points 3 days ago (2 children)

They're eating the babies.

They're eating the toddlers.

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 25 points 3 days ago

They're eating the votes... Of the people that live there...

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

Yeah! Grandpa stuff!

[–] Sentau@discuss.tchncs.de 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Can't believe such a cute innocent moment is being spun to make biden seem like a devil. The baby was actually laughing due to the foolery of Biden. We all do stupid things to make babies laugh and that is what Biden did.

[–] EatATaco@lemm.ee 5 points 2 days ago

It's been such a steady stream of scary shit coming out about the horse they are backing that they have to manufacture something.

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 192 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

That does it, I'm not voting for him.

Edit: he jokingly nommed on a turkey costume and an ice cream cone.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 21 points 3 days ago

Honestly, if Trump did this it would completely change my view of him. Jokingly gnawing on a baby turkey leg is a very human thing to do, and I just could never see Trump doing it.

[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

I've done just that with my cousin's a year old 🤷

[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 125 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Fascinating article. Baiting the right to read it, then dropping truth on them?

Jenna Ellis, a suspended lawyer who used to work for Donald Trump and who pleaded guilty to "aiding and abetting false statements" in an attempt to overturn Joe Biden's 2020 victory in Georgia, posted an article of Biden biting a baby on X, writing: "How is this real?"

[–] painfulasterisk1@lemmy.ml 62 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Funny of you to think that they'll read it.

[–] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 26 points 3 days ago

If it converts a single R voter, it'll have a bigger positive impact on the election than either of us will.

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[–] meep_launcher@lemm.ee 7 points 2 days ago

His bite is like a vampire's- those kids are about to become 80 year old politicians!

[–] archomrade@midwest.social 74 points 3 days ago (7 children)

Ok, first, LMAO that this is real.

Second, the entire political media apparatus in the US has completely lost grasp with reality. Conservative media has predictably reacted to this with faux outrage, but the fucking liberal response to the conservative response is hilariously combative:

Conservative commentator Benny Johnson, whom the Department of Justice recently alleged was unwittingly paid by Russian state media to produce Kremlin sympathetic content, reposted an image of Biden biting the baby in the turkey costume.

"Apparently Joe Biden is biting babies at The White House this evening," he wrote. His post had been viewed 740,000 times by Thursday morning.

Lol, like - sure - all objectively true. But throwing out 'he's a paid russian agent' accusations against a tweet that's pointing to something Biden actually did is batshit crazy lol. Is the implication that russia is paying Johnson to fabricate a story about Biden biting babies?

The US political media has become a parody of itself and all I can do is laugh at it.

[–] chetradley@lemm.ee 36 points 3 days ago

The article is drawing comparisons between what conservatives choose to be outraged by vs the things they actively engage in.

[–] qevlarr@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I agree this is all crazy, but Russia is probably also actually paying people to fabricate a story about Biden biting babies.

It's not paranoia if they're really after you!

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[–] LowtierComputer@lemmy.world 31 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Wouldn't you like to know who's a Russian rat up front?

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[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago

It would be parody except this year several popular influencers we're discovered to be russian-funded tools.

https://apnews.com/article/russian-interference-presidential-election-influencers-trump-999435273dd39edf7468c6aa34fad5dd

So it's not that far-fetched.

Now I'm not saying Johnson is fabricating a story, but he very clearly could be swayed to skew the narrative with a few extra bucks in his pocket.

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[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I KNEW IT!!! This explains why you never see his reflection in a mirror!

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[–] Juice@midwest.social 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

What I wanna know is did he make the myum myum myum cookie monster voice when he did it? this could be the October surprise Republicans dream for if he didn't say "myum myum cookies" while biting the babies

[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 49 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

People: "That baby is so cute, I could just eat them up!"

Conservatives:

[–] InverseParallax@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

"Look how disgusting Biden is behaving!!!" "Yeah, I can't imagine anything worse."

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 47 points 3 days ago

Nice trick by Newsweek to include plenty of criticism of what is essentially an old grandpa having weird but harmless fun while also making sure that every criticism is coming from absolutely unhinged and clearly partisan people with no reliability whatsoever 😄

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 41 points 3 days ago (1 children)

NGL, I'd be right up there with Joe chomping on those baby hammies. I fucking adore kids and babies.

[–] Aermis@lemmy.world 27 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I've chomped all my kids. Cuteness aggression is a thing.

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[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 44 points 3 days ago (3 children)

If Trump were president, he would playfully bite teenaged girls in the neck.

[–] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 45 points 3 days ago (7 children)
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[–] don@lemm.ee 4 points 2 days ago

I should call it what it is, bugshit-brained dementia-ridden ignorant conservative stupidity, but that would be fantastically redundant.

[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 days ago

I bite my baby even when he's not in a food-shaped costume, he loves it!

[–] misterdoctor@lemmy.world 29 points 3 days ago

The scenes drew sharp reactions from conservative influencers on social media

When every prominent “conservative influencer” is a bad faith jabroni paid by the Russians to divide our populace, this comment doesn’t carry a lot of weight

[–] AidsKitty@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

Joe is hungry for human flesh!

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 31 points 3 days ago

definitely not voting for that guy

[–] Aviandelight@mander.xyz 26 points 3 days ago

I just want to say that baby's turkey costume is using dish gloves for the "feet" and it's so derpy that I love it.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 28 points 3 days ago

Oh, no! Not bewilderment and criticism from conservative influencers on social media!!!

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

All in the phrasing. Could've also said "nibbles" or something.

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