Before you post that comment to social media…. (beehaw.org)

submitted 8 months ago by StringTheory@beehaw.org to c/betterment@beehaw.org

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… ask yourself these three questions:

Is it kind?

Is it true?

Is it necessary?

Granted we’ve all heard this before, but sometimes we need reminding.

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[-] Pons_Aelius@kbin.social 23 points 8 months ago

Is it kind?

Some times the truth is not kind. I'm not saying to be intentionally cruel but the truth does often hurt as it rubs up against the little lies people tell themselves to avoid the painful aspects of personal growth.

Is it true?

As above, the truth is often not kind. So many things that are kind are not true and many things that are true and not kind.

Is social media the place to present these?

That is another question all together.

Is it necessary?

Nothing (well, 99.9%) of the posts on social media are not necessary. Most people are here to distract themselves from the world of personal experience (myself included) around them.

[-] elfpie@beehaw.org 20 points 8 months ago

I read it as being at least one of the three. If it's not kind, is it a relevant fact? If it's only your opinion, does that contribute to the discussion?

I think the questions are a tool to make us aware of our behavior. People have issues and can get triggered without noticing and engage in a conversation to their own detriment. Be kind is generic. Do you really want to attack and cause harm to someone else (someone might, BTW)? Are you using facts as a weapon? Is it in your best interest to say something, or in the interest of something positive?

Also, if the reason is to distract yourself, that's a reason. It's not a good reason all the time though.

[-] Pons_Aelius@kbin.social 7 points 8 months ago

Well said and good points.

[-] StringTheory@beehaw.org 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I read it as being at least one of the three.

That’s how I read the ol’ saying, too. Unless at least one of those things applies, maybe reconsider the post.

[-] TehPers@beehaw.org 8 points 8 months ago

Part of the issue is I see people post opinions as though they are facts and in an unnecessarily argumentative manner rather than a constructive one. Those posts would be none of the three, but present themselves as at least one. Less of an issue on Beehaw I'll say at least.

Generally if something is true and constructive, I view those posts/comments as useful. They don't need to be kind. Just don't make them unnecessarily abrasive.

[-] alex@jlai.lu 7 points 8 months ago

re: the first one

Kind and nice are not the same thing. Kind means you're assuming good intent and you're trying to benefit the other person - maybe by educating them or changing their mind. You're not just yelling at them.

re: the third

I'd argue that shitposting is very much necessary because it makes me happy, but that's a stretch haha

[-] Thelsim@beehaw.org 12 points 8 months ago

Is it necessary?

That last question has kept me from participating in discussions (on- and offline) for most of my life. Low self-esteem would always make me ask myself if what I wanted to say was necessary, if it added value, etc. And always I'd end up not saying anything at all because it probably wasn't worth it for others to read or hear. Which sucks because participation is half the fun.
So yea, I try to follow the first two but have given up on letting that last question guide my online behavior.
Hopefully the first two will balance out the last :)

[-] storksforlegs@beehaw.org 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

The truthful part seems to matter a hell of a lot more than the others. But like the first one, this should go without saying.

The third one... well no part of the internet is necessary to start with. Especially social media. We got along fine (maybe much better in many cases?) without internet.

[-] toothpicks@beehaw.org 4 points 8 months ago

this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2023

39 points (100.0% liked)

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