this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2024
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[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 6 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Good, no one needs to go to jail unless someone's hurt

[–] GiddyGap@lemm.ee 4 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

And not just their feelings

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 2 points 1 hour ago
[–] IndustryStandard@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But can you legally marry multiple people

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 59 minutes ago)

I hadn't seen any Marx Bros in so long, I was thinking of a different Captain Spaulding and was wondering why I don't remember this quote. lol

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 182 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You used to have to prove adultery in order to get a divorce in New York state.

Family story time! My great-grandparents wanted to get divorced and were in New York, so my grandfather lay in a bed next to his mother-in-law under the covers and my grandmother took a photo to present to the courts. My great-grandmother apparently never even took off her coat.

[–] gsfraley@lemmy.world 87 points 2 days ago

That's hilarious and somehow wholesome that everyone pitched in to get the separation

[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca 45 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Fuck me finally. It was a the only thing keeping me a chronic virgin.

[–] muts@feddit.nl 6 points 23 hours ago

Talking like a the famous plumber doesn't help either

[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 47 points 2 days ago (31 children)

Great now make it so if you cheat you lose the ability to get alimony.

And an open relationship is different then cheating.

[–] SirEDCaLot 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yes absolutely this. Cheating should not be a crime you go to jail for.
But it should have consequences. I think a good way to go is a law that unless there is a prenup that specifically deals with cheating, and unless it was an agreed to open relationship or there was otherwise permission to cheat, a cheater is ineligible for alimony and must be considered morally suspect for the question of child custody.

[–] hessenjunge@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

Consider the following (IMO common) scenario: One spouse is abusive and does not care about the children. Maybe it’s a malignant narcissist and their family is like property for them.

The other spouse cares about the children and may be the only one doing any real parenting. Also they suffer the loveless, abusive marriage. At some point they meet someone that cares for them and somehow that leads to cheating before they can escape the marriage.

In this scenario the children should stay with the cheater and the alimony should not be depending on who cheated. (Both IMO of course).

[–] Makhno@lemmy.world 0 points 9 hours ago

At some point they meet someone that cares for them and somehow that leads to cheating before they can escape the marriage.

If you can't keep it in your pants for the sake of your kids I don't feel bad for you. You're not gonna die from not fucking. Jesus christ lol

[–] Tedesche@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Honestly, I think it’s high time we ditch old marriage laws in favor of much more individualized marriage contracts that are settled in civil court if they’re dissolved. Modern marriages are much more complex than traditional ones and our antiquated laws don’t deal with them well. We’d have to update laws/policies about hospital visiting, medical decisions, inheritance, etc, as well, but I think it would be worth it.

[–] reddit_sux@lemmy.world 0 points 9 hours ago

So reading a 200+ page EULA before saying I do, got it.

[–] rottingleaf@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I was in favor of individual contracts for most of my life.

But there's an issue - with individual contracts there's a greater degree of uncertainty every time someone goes to court over them.

It's the same as with individual contracts in other areas. Say, labor.

Power balance matters.

So - ideally yes, but in our real world with our real legal and enforcement systems - we may not be able to. Same as with labor, again.

Well I doubt it would be truely individualized. Probably something more like a menu of terms that everyone else is using would quickly develop. Maybe a few numbers to customize. But mostly boilerplate. And probably requiring arbitration.

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

that's the opposite of the point of these laws. the entire point of this and no fault divorce is that the state shouldn't dictate relationships. how are you going to adjudicate cheating anyway?

[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How?

If person a is shown to have been cheating then person a loses any claim to alimony.

Pretty simple.

Person A in divorce court “judge I want alimony”

Person B in divorce court “your honor Person A was cheating here’s the proof”

Judge “ no alimony will be awarded from Person B to Person A”

Why should anyone be allowed to get alimony after cheating? That’s just insult to injury.

Your spouse cheats you walk in on it and now you want a divorce. Added bonus you have to pay money to the cheater for life???

How does that make sense?

It should literally be law that the alimony goes away at that point.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah indentured servitude as punishment for being victim of a cheater. That’s just pure injustice and the state shouldn’t be enforcing that.

[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago

Here's something nuts . I have three down votes and six up votes. Think about that. There is a solid percentage of people that think I'm wrong in saying what I said.

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[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 59 points 2 days ago

Woot to all the people that were horny but it was the legal system stopping them from cheating on their spouse.

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