this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2024
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It’s a satire LinkedIn acct

top 34 comments
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[–] Veedem@lemmy.world 55 points 1 week ago (3 children)

How many people on LinkedIn absolutely loved that? lol

[–] jewbacca117@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago

This guy's profile is the shining like in the depths of shit that is LinkedIn. Sometimes the comments are funnier than his posts. There are always people commenting like it's a serious post.

[–] noodlejetski@lemm.ee 5 points 1 week ago

42,078 according to the screenshot

[–] OfficerBribe@lemm.ee 1 points 1 week ago

Who wouldn't? This is hilarious

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What’s 2+2?

Engineer: 4e0

Mathematician: grabs chalk and begins a proof

Accountant: what do you want it to be?

[–] TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

the accountant will tell you "2" and then keep 2 in crypto

[–] lazynooblet@lazysoci.al 32 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Oh the friends know. They talk about it between themselves, just too polite to say it directly.

[–] then_three_more@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The friends know and are doing the opposite, £12.38, becomes £12.83 etc

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No, no, £12.38 becomes the £22.91.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago
[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 week ago

That cheap bastard. Make him pay you back in cash!

[–] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Bro made 6 cents per day over 5 years LMAO 🤣

The cheapskate's friends meanwhile:

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If I had a friend like this, unless they were useful or more interesting than average people, I'd stop inviting them out.

I'll just let that friendship die, that's fine.

This is worse than what my friends and I usually do. We either do completely separate bills, or we trade back and forth who is paying. Nobody quibbles about how much, or how much more this time might be compared to last time. You pay the bill, and next time, your bill gets paid for you.

I take note whenever I'm paying more than once in a row, and if it becomes a trend that I'm paying for everything, I stop inviting people out. I'm not going to invite you out somewhere just to have me pay for it 100% of the time. If I wanted to pay for someone to keep me company, I'd hire a hooker.

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I know ~~it's~~ the post is just a joke, but yeah money sadly is serious biz and beef between friends if things don't feel fair. It sucks but i chalk it up to the hellscape we live in.

Everyone has their money tics. A long time pal gets pissed if i pull the "whisper the waiter" trick and pay the whole dinner bill for example. For my part, I feel weird about owing people, like they'll hate me if i cant pay my way.

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh, I'm not joking.

I have very few, very loyal, very long-term friends. I like it that way. Knowing too many people gets to be problematic.

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Er my bad i was referencin the post being a joke, not your reply being one. That was poorly phrased on my part

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago
[–] Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)

God damn it Jimmy. I knew it was 1216, one after Magna Carta.

[–] Marighost@lemm.ee 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Electricity buzzing noises INTENSIFIES

[–] smiletolerantly@awful.systems 1 points 1 week ago

Is there something like r/okbuddychicanery on Lemmy?

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Back in my college years, my cheapest friend would always conveniently "forget his wallet" when we were all going out to dinner, a fact he wouldn't reveal until after the bill arrived.

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I had a roommate that took advantage of me like that for 2 years. In the end I kept his security deposit because he cost me so much money

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

He would do it when we were out in groups, so he could spread it around. Thankfully he stopped being like that when he got older and a little more established.

[–] HeyJoe@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

That's a Seinfeld episode.

[–] MacNCheezus 9 points 1 week ago

Oh sure, they might not bother raising a big stink about that but I bet you at least some of them will remember. Until one day, when he’s at the end of his rope and in need of a friend, then they’ll leave him hanging.

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Try that with a business and see how far you get.

spoiler alertIt isn't very far

[–] grysbok@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 1 week ago

I tend to transfer a penny or two extra when I'm annoyed with the business, just to fuck with their balance sheets.

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You don't do it to a business.

You only do it to your friends. Obviously.

[–] DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

I love that guy.

[–] Venator@lemmy.nz 3 points 1 week ago

I don't think I'd even notice if a friend did that to me 😅

[–] mEEGal@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago