this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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[–] ProgrammingSocks@pawb.social 7 points 1 day ago

If you think the internet only has squeaky clean porn I have some news...

[–] errer@lemmy.world 69 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Could have done without the Elon comment just so I can avoid thinking about that choad for 5 minutes on the internet

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago

I think that was part of the humor intended. Because it was spelled with a lower case m, which (ignoring the author's possibility of mistakes) means it was referring to the smell and not the person.

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 80 points 2 days ago (1 children)

While I understand the sentiment, I have to disagree.

This is nearly perfect comedy, Without the final redirect it's just a rant about Fake Plastic Trees

[–] Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

And it wears me out....

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Tbh Europeans of the start of the nineteenth century had this too, but with Napoleon.

Who was turned away for losing and putting hundreds of thousands to their early grave. And then the king came back and they were like 'oh this Napoleon guy wasn't so bad after all.'

And then Napoleon lost again, got exiled and again the king retuned, people became so desirous of late Napoleon again that they elevated his nephew to emperor.

So you can say at least that however bad technocrats are, kings seem to be worse, by a margin.

[–] naught@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 days ago

it turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government

[–] Fleur_@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You are contributing to the problem

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago

I just lost the game!

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Seconded. Also as regards the perfume kind of musk, if I wanted to fuck a civet I'd fuck a civet.

(I wouldn't because civets can't consent. So I guess there's a place for musk perfume: for frustrated civetfuckers.)

[–] PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Let the civet fuck you, then it's consensual.

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago

But would you fuck a Civic?

[–] Glent@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Instructions unclear, dick stuck in civet

[–] parody@lemmings.world 2 points 2 days ago

Time to roast and brew

[–] 200ok@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Same. I've filtered out a lot of keywords in my feed and I hate that it still comes up in screenshots. I'm just so tired.

[–] ieatpwns@lemmy.world 76 points 3 days ago (2 children)

And they say pheromones don’t work on humans. Yea aight

[–] voracitude@lemmy.world 56 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Because we don't have receptors for them, yes. Science is cool.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 63 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"pheromones is when a lil stinky"

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 34 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (4 children)

I pheromoned in the toilet this morning! And a tiny amount in my own asscheeks overnight

Edit: apparently y'all don't like poop jokes. Noted, but not heeded

[–] DogWater@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago

but not heeded

Atta boy

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 37 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Ur mom was phero-moning my name haha gottem

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 22 points 2 days ago

I thought I told you to stop talking to me, Dad

[–] laurelraven@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What is it that a fartographer would do exactly?

If a cartographer maps out the land, would a fartographer map out the bowels?

[–] voracitude@lemmy.world 3 points 17 hours ago

They draw the pollution map overlay in Factorio

[–] satans_methpipe@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I'm really not a big fan of pooping while in bed but your edit is cracking me up

[–] don@lemm.ee 15 points 3 days ago

They are frequently wrong.

[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 45 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Damn, this got me feeling some kind of way

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 29 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Like a musky husky?~

[–] bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 days ago

My buddies will love this one