woah Jesus is a water bender??
this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2025
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Can Jesus turn the water in wine into wine?
Jesus invented brandy.
Wait, is that what brandy is?
This seems like a XKCD / Randall Munroe "What if" kind of question. I.e., how long would a person survive if all of the water inside them was turned into wine?
What if all the water turned to wine at 1 standard drink per hour
A quick search suggests that blood is 80% water. Turning that into wine at a weak concentration of 5.5% results in around at 14.5% BAC which is over 10 times greater than the highest ever recorded, so it would be certainly lethal.
Wine is 80-90% water, but all that alcohol and other flavor compounds directly in your bloodstream would not be good.
Yeah, but how long before I croak?!?!? I need to know now!
Pretty much immediately. You wouldn't even know it.
Acidic pH like wine denatures proteins. It would destroy you on the cellular level, basic cell functions would cease to work. You could say it would stop your breathing or cause an instant heart attack, but it would be more like as if it fried your brain and heart like an egg in an instant.
I have a different question. How much wine extract can i add to the water in my body to be able to correctly state i exist out of 80% wine and still live.
That's much easier. If you weigh 100kg (220lb) it's W/(100 + W) = 0.8, and solving for W gives 400.
If you eat 400 kg of wine powder then 80% of your mass will be wine.
This will kill you, and it doesn't actually matter what powder you choose to eat.
You are saying that you would have to eat four times your body weight of wine powder to turn your blood into wine. That doesn’t make sense.
Wine is 15% alcohol.
Human are 60% water.
Human weight around 70kg
70 x 0.6 = 42 L
42 x 0.15 = 6.3 L of pure alcohol.
You'd probably die before ingesting that amount tho
Probably 0.00 seconds.
That's what I'm talking about. OK then.
To be specific, it'd likely immediately fuck up the electrical signals in the brain, thus killing the brain.
That's an understatement, it would also add a bunch of alcohol and all kinds of sugars and proteins inside every single cell. I bet that would instantly mess up every single biological process.
I bet it would take a long time for that body to rot.
Fucking weak as humans now. In my day we were 75% water and probably like 5-15 % lead. /S
Miss when superheroes had vague wording in their powers, leap great distances could scale up and down , mean anything
So you're nostalgic for the Golden age? How old are you?
thats just most of what they had in the library growing up, 25 lol
Never been impressed by the "water to wine" miracle.
My S/O can turn anything into whine.
Did you have to help a chicken cross the road making that joke?