this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 54 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Anon gets shut down by the department of agriculture

[–] M1nds3nd@lemmy.ca 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Didn't Trump axe that one too?

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 42 points 1 day ago

Unironically why small business goons love voting Republican.

You can brew mutant shrimp in a vat in your garage and take them to a wholesaler in a leaky bag labeled "Wild Caught Magic Beans" then sell them at some absurd markup. When half your customer base gets food poisoning, you blame DEI, throw down a smoke bomb, and run off with your profits.

[–] Metz@lemmy.world 51 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

And then you realize far too late that stuff like this is strictly regulated and you forgot to comply with all the standards for product safety and hygiene and the state is going to rip your ass so far open that a truck can make a u-turn it it.

[–] baines@lemmy.cafe 35 points 1 day ago (1 children)

not anymore, how long until all that is doged out and we’re back to the jungle

[–] Tyfud@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] baines@lemmy.cafe 8 points 1 day ago

took days for the faa to get fucked

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 37 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just do it in a red state and buy favor with the governor.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's expensive. My governor is an alfalfa farmer in a desert state where alfalfa is ~1% of GDP and >50% of water use, or something like that. He's already a grifter, so getting my own grift approved is going to be expensive.

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Just gotta cut him in on a share of the profits. He’ll be your best friend in that case!

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[–] abbotsbury@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago

this is literally the plot of Forrest Gump (the book)

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 88 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I know a guy who bought a plot of almost worthless land an hour out of town fenced jt and bought a bunch of goats. We all thought he was insane.

10 years later he is retired at 40 because it turns out that certain communities will pay very good money for organic free range goat.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 46 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There's multiple avenues how you can increase your wealth, if you have investment capital, and nothing goes wrong.

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] superkret@feddit.org 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah, I also know a goat farmer in my neighborhood.
In the same 10 years, she faced an expensive lawsuit from someone who wanted her land, an epidemic that destroyed her herd, animals dying from people feeding them the wrong plants through the fence, Covid forcing her to close the farm to visitors, and other hardships.

She's barely out of the woods now, but definitely much worse off than if she had invested the money into stocks.

Yup, stocks are almost zero effort and have an expected return of 10-12% long term. Everything else is a job and is dependent on how good you are at managing it.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

If you've got the time and the energy and the stomach to handle birthing and raising live goats, it is very profitable... for the person who got a large low-interest loan to set up the farm. Significantly less so for the people doing the actual agricultural labor.

[–] JayObey711@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

This is actually true. A former landlord of mine made a fuck ton of money by farming koi fish in the basement of a warehouse.

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The one thing OP is missing is the type of shrimp. Don’t bother with food shrimp. That’s unprofitable! The real money is in fancy aquarium shrimp like these:

[–] burgersc12@mander.xyz 13 points 1 day ago

I have never wanted an aquarium shrimp before, but I think you just found yourself a customer sir!

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 131 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Shrimp > blockchain. Can't disagree with him there.

For that matter, shit is better than blockchain. Because at least shit is good for manure.

[–] NateNate60@lemmy.world 51 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Blockchain is the perfect solution to none of life's problems

[–] riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 1 day ago (2 children)

crypto currency is actually very useful when you need to buy meds that states dont want you to have. i dont know if blockchain is the best way to implement decentralized currencies (proof of work blockchain definitely isnt) but its what we got rn

[–] Stern@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago (2 children)

To put it another way: Crypto is great for crime. Like I get that criminalizing stuff like HRT is bullshit, but...

[–] riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

but what? be gay, do crime. legality has nothing to do with ethicality. dont support oppression and hegemonie!

[–] Th3D3k0y@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Do crime? But what if I wanted to be President of the United States one day, surely there is some rule about having a criminal record?

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It's really not. Most crypto is easily traceable, in fact, the whole point of blockchain is to be publicly traceable.

You know what's better for crime? Cash.

If you use crypto, you have to launder it to obfuscate the transaction. If you use cash, you don't.

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[–] ramjambamalam@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Buying drugs on the dark web

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[–] stringere@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago

you wouldn't download a shrimp

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[–] Blackout@fedia.io 50 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I tried the same thing with veal farming but little baby cows can't swim so good :|

[–] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Give em a few generations, they'll learn.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Now I am just imagining someone breeding cows to get some kind of aquatic cow species. Which would also make a great band name.

[–] Oni_eyes@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 day ago (4 children)
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[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 13 points 1 day ago

Basement Gump

[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 91 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Anon discovers basic capitalism and lucked into an underserved market.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Anon also doesn't know about all applicable regulations and is yet to be audited by the IRS.
Anon discovered that you can earn money illegally until you're caught.

You can also earn money after you're caught, but the protection money will eat most of your profits.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 29 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Isn't this technically just commerce? At least until he does an IPO.

[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

No? He's acquiring capital (land, shrimp farm equipment, shromps) and using his labor to create something (more shromps) and selling his product for a profit.

He owns the property, takes the investment risk, and keeps the profits. In theory he's competing in a market with other shrimp sellers but like I said from the sound of it the market is pretty thin so he gets to sell for a huge profit.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

And making the mistake of telling everyone. If everyone gets into it, it will stop being profitable. Though everyone will have cheap shrimp, so it's not a complete loss.

I wonder how much it costs to maintain the farm and if it's worthwhile for small scale production for personal and friends/family.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

I bought all the equipment right from a Chinese seller for Tether

Had me right up until the end. Cryptobros literally do not understand how to do normal banking.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 32 points 1 day ago (2 children)

In America, just buy a load of chickens and do this with eggs.

[–] 2piradians@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Silly goose, everyone knows shrimp is much more valuable than eg--

Heavens to betsy, you're right

[–] stringere@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 day ago (4 children)
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[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I've looked into it, unless there's a bird flu epidemic, you're not going to be profitable. It's literally more expensive for me to raise chickens than buy eggs from across the company.

So I guess the solution is to spread bird flu?

Be a true American and send the other farms infected chicken blankets.

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[–] sheepishly@fedia.io 9 points 1 day ago

This shrimp fresh?

[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 35 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Shortstack@reddthat.com 10 points 1 day ago

Jesse, we need to produce more Balenciaga

[–] ambitious_bones@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago

Relevant Mitchell &Webb sketch: Link

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