this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2025
155 points (89.3% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago
> are you a vagfucker of a bagfucker

I'm a buttfucker

> gender neutral
> even you can get penetrated
> you can even do it with your friends
> no pregnancy
> is really satisfying
> "but what about the poop?" 
just get an enema, or even get into scat
> you're literally fucking the better hole
> you're literally fucking the better tits
> "but what about incontinence" 
relatively rare, if happens just get into diapers

Peehole fucking is also an option, but it will very likely come with incontinence and a UTI.

[–] jia_tan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 171 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Ima put on some vinyl gloves and punch anon in the face several times.

It wasn’t me! My hands didn’t touch his face!

Officer, is it a crime to punch my own vinyl??

[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 5 points 1 week ago
[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 104 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

Why would I give some woman I barely know my hard earned cum?

[–] Nosavingthrow@lemmy.world 52 points 1 week ago (5 children)

I save mine in a milk jug to drink later. Can't let any of my vital essence go to waste.

[–] Dr_Fetus_Jackson@lemmy.world 61 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

that link is staying green, and the amazon bot spying on my account will thank me for i t

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well the main gist is vidible form the link itself

idk the cum flan in the cover is really something, looks just like a regular one, you'd never know.

[–] match@pawb.social 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

memes but instead of posting images we post amazon links

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Look at Mr. Fancy Pants over here with a dedicated jug. Just slurp straight from the rubber.

[–] DScratch@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago

Save it all up for your wedding night. Let the sperms fight for dominance in the milk jug, that only the strongest and fittest sperm survives to merge with the egg.

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

this might be of interest to you.

[–] Twig@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 week ago

"I do not avoid women, Mandrake...but I do deny them my essence."

[–] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 8 points 1 week ago

Semen is a bit like lending someone less than $5, you can't really ask for it back

[–] ColdWater@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 week ago
[–] inv3r5ion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 87 points 1 week ago

Taking bets they do not think women who’ve only fucked dudes with condoms on are virgins

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 39 points 1 week ago (3 children)

If dick making contact with vagina is all that it takes to not be a virgin, then no one born with a penis through normal vaginal birth is a virgin once born because your penis probably touched your mom's vagina.

[–] bunnyBoy@pawb.social 25 points 1 week ago

A girl in my high-school actually said this (Not word for word obvs) and when I mentioned that would every woman has has lesbian sex at least once she became very very upset.

[–] xia@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 1 week ago

Thanks for the mind-worm, I hate it.

[–] ace_of_based@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

This fact is highly unpleasant and i hate you for 5 minutes

[–] Pregnenolone@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)

OOP has never had sex. This is proof

[–] LifeLemons@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] festnt@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

did you remove your own upvote after posting...?

[–] LifeLemons@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 week ago

Yes, infact I sometimes downvote my own comment if I feel like my comment is shit

[–] Wetstew@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago

Lecturing a Chan user on condangs is like asking your dog his thoughts on the Flat Tax.

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

*greentext was sponsored by the Federalist Society

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

I much prefer the Japanese propaganda

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

Anon got sodomized and desperately needs to believe it doesn't count.