beaten to death with a hoe
this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2025
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Slashed to ribbons by freshly escaped crazed Wolverine.
I have an anarchist child and they kill me in a rebellion.
I'd be so proud.
I am just going outside and may be some time...
I'm going to go down with my ship, bellowing orders to my crew until the last.
Yeah, likely commands such as, but not limited to: "I told you to take the last boat out of here!" Or "I won't need the log book where I am going so you better take it to draw inside while you wait for rescue you idiot!"
I SAID RAM THE FUCKER. I DON'T CARE IF THE ENGINES ARE GONE, GET OUT AND PUSH IF YOU HAVE TO.
Locked in a dumpster in Mexico, I guess
I guess I'm not growing old
An undercover Corgi mission.
Well...
Very delicious and spicy as intended.
I catch a Solarbeam to the face!
I'd piss off the wrong person with an excess of style with ease
I probably sleep with king Midas or meet Apollo and he grants me the same wish
I came close with the undertow a few times. I wouldn’t be mad. There’s worse ways to go.
Or maybe a surfing ninja will take me out. Which is a cool as hell way to die.
Sounds unpleasant.
Whelp...
I get bit by a werewolf and sentenced for execution due to being a danger to society. For some reason they choose death by drowning and it turns out I cannot drown because I am a vampire. I then actually do not die because I am an undead.
High speed dirt man, high speed dirt.
Demise details unclear, but I'm excited to find out! May require a safe word lol
First I am. And then...
I'm not.
I think I'm probably going to die in a gutter somewhere
Very painfully
Snakebite
Very quickly but likely quite painful
Something the Scooby gang could have prevented.
It wouldn't.
Someone will give me really deadly advice over a radio and I will just be like "ok, that sounds legit".
Something Volcano related, possibly involving a ring and a couple of short men. One of whom is a goddamn hero.
Ceasefire Violation?
He died doing what he loved!
Painfully, I'd assume
Dangling a jeep over a cliff while escaping a Mormon bishop.
Killed by a Pictish tribe in scotland
probably something cult related I guess
High stakes dance off. I never stood a chance against the wiley crustacean
I will be deleted and no evidence that I ever existed will be found.
Decomposing at old age in some field snd then a tree grows out of me