Ask Lemmy

Uhhhh.

Guess I run into traffic, yelling and waving at the taxi that just deliberately passed me by. Then I get hit by a truck.

Decomposing at old age in some field snd then a tree grows out of me

Drive errors would pile up on critical systems because they didn't filesystem check themselves before they filesystem wrecked themselves

I will be deleted and no evidence that I ever existed will be found.

Guess I'm a very tasty bug.

I just hope I'm on the receiving end.

Dangling a jeep over a cliff while escaping a Mormon bishop.

SUPPLIES!

Or being thrown out of a second story window during karate lessons.

Silently hunted down by a mysterious lone wolf.

I dont't know lulz

Either heart goes out during orgy, or torn to shreds by an uprising

In some sketchy den with a khajiit

Killed by a Pictish tribe in scotland

probably something cult related I guess

Sleeping with the fishes

Whatever it is, it's going to be the subject of several YouTube documentaries.

mildly, nothing extreme

Inviting my Farmville girlfriend over.

I probably say something
And it gets me in trouble

Edit:
Hahaha I actually forgot my username and thought I was using one that I use elsewhere, but this still applies exactly the same 🤣😭

No one can tell... (Well maybe)... But I should have seen it coming.

I am very satisfied with this outcome

Details of demise unclear but I'm excited to find out, may need a safe word lol

Self Explanatory actually.

Jesus Christ, that'll be gruesome...

Raptured by the One True Dog

By Japanese sword thrust

A remake of Alien but with a meerkat

A Japanese Math Rock band murders me

After the last and final of many disappearances, rumours grow of a man named Anonymous. No one met him in person, but everyone knew who he was. Over time the stories are embellished and exaggerated, eventually becoming a shorthand for the very concept of anonymity

Mine's pretty open-ended.

I'm going to go with gassing in a concentration camp for opposing the fascists.

History repeats itself.

A detective stands over my lifeless body, Detective Salvitore is panting for air, desperate to catch up to her partner and mount the hill. She reaches the crest covered in sweat, vision blurring but enthused at the grim sight before Detective Glassgow.

Salvitore fumbles for her radio, wheezing a shaky "We... we... I... found-" before Glassgow cuts her off.

"Save it Sal, I already told them we found the vegan."

Furiously stroking my willy.

Death by snu snu? Not really how I wanted to go -- unless it kills both of us.

Too many pineapples

Wrong place wrong time during a controlled demolition

Not sure how I die, but I guess I’m coming back to life after …

Derogatory slur

At least I would know what was coming, three would come before me.

I'll leave it to you, reader, to guess the "where" it is cast

Hey, somebody left some perfectly good Swiss on this block of wood. How convenient, don’t mind if I d….*

Nihilistic fruit

Frozen to death at a mountain resort after being haunted by ghosts who wanted me to murder my family. (The Shining)

Mashing Keys

Alone in my apartment and nobody checks on me for not responding, because I stopped responding long before.