"He was like a dildo in a lightbulb store: wasn't the brightest, but never failed to please his teacher."
this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2025
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My two favorite malaphors:
- It's not rocket surgery.
- We will burn that bridge when we get to it.
I use those both regularly. And people seem totally unable to tell whether I am doing it on purpose.
Malaphor, my new favorite word Also: "she looks like she's been through the run of the mill"
"He looks like he fell out of the Ugly Tree and hit every branch on the way down."
That’s all water under the fridge at this point.
Not sure what's the idiom with "fridge" in it.
There isn’t one, it’s a malaphor imposter!
I prefer, due to my white trash rural roots:
"That dog won't hunt."
I don't have a don't in this don't.
This is the true evolution
I don't have a dog in this horse.
I don't have a race in this fight.
"I don't fight in other people's races."
Implies that my fighting is done strictly at my own behest:-).
"Shit or get out of the kitchen" is my current favorite malaphor.
I use "We'll burn that bridge when we come to it" pretty frequently myself
"not the sharpest knife in the cookie jar"
Sure. It ain't rocket surgery.
"I don't have a hot dog in this bun" - me to the Costco worker.
"Whatever guy, it's like $2 and I know you just swallowed the whole damn thing, but here, sure, I'll give you another one while you hold your bag with 5 pounds of hot pockets and a 3L bottle of Johnny Walker blue. "
-the Costco worker
"I don't have a horse in this dog": incoherent, fanciful, drunk
I'm not a native English speaker, but in my experience "I don't have a horse in this race" seems more common.
I'm a native, and I'd agree. But it's a funny post so, I'll ignore that.
IMO, "dog in this fight" is more common where Ive lived: Appalachia, mid-Atlantic, Midwest. I wouldn't be surprised if it also varies by region, class, etc.
"I'm not the sharpest crayon in the basket. "
"Does the pope shit in the woods?"
"I dont have a horse in this fight" makes sense if context is Calvary charge. I dk im drunk.
And a dog in this race for greyhound racing
Not my circus, not my monkeys.
"I don't have a race-fight in this horse-dog" : questionable morals; supernatural or sci-fi undertones; a good chance for double-takes, perhaps even the odd triple-take
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“I don’t have a sea slug in this drive by.” Conjures images of underwater sea violence and muddies your message.
Grim? Tell spanish people: "I don't have a candle in this burial."
I don't have one horse size duck or 100 duck sized horses in this race.
There's a YouTuber named Memoria Matters who has an inside joke that she's trying to popularize the idiom "too many dogs on the dance floor". I'm pretty sure it doesn't have any particular meaning, however. It came up quite a few times during her Alien: Isolation let's play, however.
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"I don't have any skin in this game"
Who's betting pieces of skin?
Antonio?
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The older "Dog in the hunt" is a bit less grim.
Unless you're a fox...
I don't know. I don't have a horse in this dogfight. Still working on his pilot's license.
"I don't have a monkey in this circus"
Wow, that does provoke strong imagery. That's a great looking dog in a great looking race. I hope he wins.
"I don't have a child with this horse."
i have no beef in this stew
I don't have a fight in this race
did someone say synthesis?
'Corn Maze' by Aesop Rock
"The phone pings from a pillow fort in a corn maze. I don't have a horse in your war games"
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