Ask Lemmy

"Oh shit I'm a girl?"

Your dog is awesome.

Your job is pretty cool. I don't think I'm ready for that yet, but I'll keep that on my radar.

Your beard and moustache are epic. Shame about the hair, but I knew that was coming.

Congrats on getting married, can't wait to meet her.

Donald Trump? Twice? Really? And they do what? Fuck, man...fuck.

"They use computers to do what??? Shit, guess I’ll become a woodworker then."

He'd be disappointed that he doesn't end up doing anything epic and world-changing, but then he'd immediately be relieved that he's mostly got shit figured out. Wife, home, job, driving, cooking, all the basic stuff.

Then he'd realize he only thought he needed to do something epic because he couldn't picture himself having those basic things figured out. This would take him a few minutes to process, so he wouldn't say anything.

Career? (Not knowing about AI) Oh wow interesting!

Life? (Not knowing about cost of living) Dude wtf!

"Fuckyeah!"

Then I'd elaborate on what it took to get here.

"Shit...."

But at least Mia hasn't been part of the equation for decades.

"Phew"

"Whoa. You actually talk to and get along with Dad? I can't stand him. He's such a huge dick."

Yeah. Your going to call him that to his face at some point in a few years. It goes over better than you'd expect.

She would be absolutely stunned. Probably wouldn't believe me. At 43 I'm married to the guy I was dating at 19. At 19 I had dropped out of college and thought I wanted to be an artist; at 43 I'm already retired from a successful career in academic research. At 19 I had no thoughts about politics or the world as a whole (9/11 hadn't happened yet); at 43 I'm pretty informed and opinionated. And she'd probably be surprised how much I'm into the outdoors, healthy living, and weightlifting, given that she had negative interest in those things. The rest is pretty consistent - e.g., I've always loved music from the '60s, fun nail polish, scifi, swimming, and handmade art (drawing, beading, etc).

My 19 year old self would be sad and hopefully take a different path.

I was trying to get into university in America, failed and got into one in Japan two years ago, so probably this:

World's falling apart, huh? Really dodged a bullet there. Also can't wait to be quadlingual.

Younger me was really depressed, like clinically and so caught up in himself that I think he'd hear me, but not actually listen to what I'd have to say. And I don't totally blame him, he was very confused and hadn't really figured himself out yet.

I think he'd be surprised but also unhappy with the direction of my life... But he'd be unhappy no matter what since he still hadn't figured out how to beat his depression and make his own happiness.

Plus he's not only stubborn but also secretly a bit arrogant and needs to fall on his face a lot to learn lessons. His failures will be his greatest teachers. The fact that he even can fail will be very hard to accept but very needed as well.

So overall, I don't expect his reaction would be great. But I also can't see myself wanting to give him any advice nor do I really care what he would think... Actually I would tell him to lift with his knees and not his back more, properly show him how to do it too.

... oh

Mine would say: What? You're working with finance people? WTF? Traitor!

But if I explained it a bit more, I reckon they'd be pretty into it, and kind of impressed.

Actual answer: they would probably be surprised by how fat I am. I was underweight at that point in my life and now am over and generally less fit (multiple broken bones and surgery will do that). They would be surprised I had any interest in Japan, let alone have been living there for a decade. They would kinda get it though; 19-year-old me was still on the fence about very rural or very urban life. Turns out middle-aged me would get both in one country. Not really playing any music would surprise then-me as well, though it has been something I've slightly dipped my toe back into, though they'd probably like that I played for thousands a handful of times and have credits on a few albums. That I went into homesteading would also surprise him to some degree, coming out as some combination of my grandfather and, to a lesser extent, my uncle who fucked off.

Former post: To avoid this and probably be generally better, I'd explain the current situation and say to be more active in government and vote more, but I was working at times 2-3 jobs and surviving off of dollar store boxed mashed potatoes at one point and, I forget whether 19 or 20, living out of my car surviving on wonderbread factor outlet leavings and peanut butter in addition to what my restaurant job would give.

"Thank you for warning. I'm leaving right now to make sure [name removed] is not able to enlist".

My friend was killed by the United States Army.

Young me: WAIT GAMES ARE 3D?! Holy shit 2025 must be awesome

Not young me: Um.....

We'd probably not get along very well. 19 y/o me though he saw the world "logically" and that everyone else was wrong. He saw emotions as a weakness, and interpreted the world as black and white. To him everything seemed clear cut and simple, and everyone who didn't agree was an idiot.

Seeing nuance and accepting emotions as a valid argument to anything are not things he'd accept. Accepting that people who think differently are not completely stupid might not go well with him. And, without getting into details, I don't think he'd agree with the current situation. He wouldn't be surprised to see me work as a programmer, but his black and white thinking wouldn't gel very well with the reality that most companies aren't exactly "good" causes.

"Non-bina-what? Don't know about it. But let's focus on the real information please. We don't play League of Legends anymore? What do we play with our friends then? ... we left our friends because they were idiots? WHAT? HOW?"

fuck yeah! i was worried for us, thanks for making the hard choices and sacrifices.

"So we're still a fat fucking loser. Great. Nice cat though."

You're earning how much? (Well, inflation is a bummer)

You're taking dance classes without being forced? WHY?

You have how many cats? Man are they cute!

I don't believe a word about your relationships and sex life. And shame on you, if it would be true!

A lot of time has passed since I was 19 and looking back at that 19-year-old dude, he would have the hardest time understanding how I got to where I am now. If I could, I would try to beat some sense into that guy, which might have made things along the way easier.

"we made it to 50? Holy fuck!!!"

19 year old me would say "lmfao, how are you still alive?"

I'm about to be 46 and finally starting to figure out this "adulting" thing so things are going okay at the moment. My 19 year old self would probably say something like "wow I can't believe you're (I'm) doing good." As long as I don't mention the last 2 decades of fuck ups I think I'd be impressed with myself.

Are you fucking kidding me?!

I'm just surviving, dawg

You figured out what to do in life and landed a nice career? Nice!

You're still single? That really sucks.

Our family blew up? Dad's gone? Oh...

At 19, it was right before a rough few years. My parents went through a messy and drawn-out divorce that I was dragged through the middle of, and ended with my dad dying. Those events helped me figure out who I was and ultimately led me to where I am today, which is in a pretty good spot, but it was a terrible price to pay.

So I'm 30. At 19 this time of year I was on the verge of accepting that I'm a trans woman (i thought I was nonbinary [yes gender] and never coming out). And yeah today I'm in the process of moving to a blue state with my wife.

19 year old me would mostly be shocked I want to live tbh

Her??

damn, maybe I should stop smoking weed and stay in college

They'd probably be worried that I had gotten sucked into the interminable rat race, and wouldn't believe me when I said I had found a way to be comfortable with it. I used to have panic attacks about the idea of entering the normal workforce and ending up in a job situation like my father did. Love the man, but he prioritized "providing" for the family over being present, and burned himself out doing it. I can see the nuanced differences between that and my situation now, but I never would have back then.

They wouldn't believe that a relatively modest life could cost so damn much of what I take home. I make money that would make my 19yo head spin, and it's still not enough to be as comfortable as I would like.

They'd be furious that I let my strong friendships of the time slip for over a decade.

They'd be worried about my weight and how far my general health has tanked. Walking everywhere and doing manual labor jobs had made it easier than I realized to stay healthy back then.

They'd be confused that I'm a decade into a different romantic relationship. That might cause them to more carefully examine the one they were in at the time. I'm not sure if cutting it early would have been better for me though. I learned and grew by years in the span of a few months when that relationship was dying.

"You were right and the guidance counselors were wrong."

"Your heart did WHAT??!?!?"

Take the first management promotion; turn down the rest. It's not worth it.

I'll know after 7 years, when I'm 19

"Stable life despite most dreams being crushed? Ok, that doesn't sound bad... Shouldn't have stopped drawing? Wait, you're teaching kids how to draw as a volunteer and liking it?? That was unexpected."