When my friend turned 21, he wanted to have his birthday party at a strip club

This being Milwaukee, that meant Silk Exxxotic, which is not a classy place

It was loud and bright, which as an autistic person, did not jive with me at all

It was coincidentally Amateur night when we went and one of the girls was so unaccustomed to walking in heels, she fell on top of me and I got covered in glitter and baby oil

My friend had a good time, but I got a lot of trauma that night which even the copious amounts of drugs I am on right now cannot abate

I almost died from embarrassment when I put on a condom for the first time when I was 24, I ain't going near such establishments

I have never been to a nudie bar for any gender and will likely keep it that way. Seems like a good way to lose $200 with nothing to show for it.

I've been dragged there on stag nights and it is just gross and weird. Like I legit do not understand how anyone enjoys it. All the worst parts of an overpriced club combined with a bunch of sleazy dudes staring at titties. Maybe I'm just an especially private kind of person, or maybe it's because I'm "gray ace" (whatever that is) but I'd much rather see titties in the comfort of my own home, preferably attached to someone who I have mutual love and trust with, and not some random lady forced to do it so she can afford college.

unfurling thread like a cursed scroll that's one hell of an act, what do you call it?