This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
Well first of all anon is a pillock for paying $100 for a haircut. Any Barber actually charging that amount would have at least given him some hair gel or something.
I pay about 10% of that and it comes out looking fine. Then again, my haircut is designed to make my hair look less stupid, and it's not intended to me me look like a football hooligan.
I pay half of it. The Hispanic barbershop charges $25 and I always pay 40-50. Now my hair looks great.
I swear someone needs to teach young men about pomade, hair gel, mousse, just anything at all about how to style and texture your hair. I guarantee the guy in the left pic doesn't look like that when he rolls out of bed, and if you want your hair to look like his, you'll need similar amounts of styling and product.
You're not at all wrong with the first part.
But I can tell you with hair like that, you can actually just roll out of bed and have it look good. But that presupposes you've actually taken care of the hair and that it's cut well.
Definitely wasn't a great stylist if that's how unevenly they cut the front, but also that dudes hair is kinda dry, so perhaps with product he could make it look better.
I had horrible problems with a frizzy mess of hair until started using a leave in conditioner spray and a bit of hair oil. I also sleep with a silk bonnet. But yeah, when there's a suitable amount of both, the next day I'll just wake up and slightly brush it and it looks great. Whereas last year I couldn't even get a brush through it. And if I don't wear the bonnet I don't need to brush even, as it squishes the hair a bit.
If I style it I use a tiny bit pomade, but like a really soft one. Almost like a cream.
But yeah you're definitely right that someone should teach men about hair care. I'm still just learning but my hair is already much better. Just would've enjoyed knowing these things in my 20's for a gorgeous mane. I don't have male pattern baldness in my family really but it does thin a bit.
i thought i was doomed to always have bad hair aside from maybe one or two days a month when they decided to look nice
gels never worked, neither did pomades (curly hair) but then i discovered hair modelling clay, and now i can have a nice hair whenever i want :)
Yes, clay for curly hair! My stylist introduced me to that and now I realize it’s half the battle. L’Oréal shit I use is expensive at $23, but it lasts awhile and the results lead to regular compliments.
Same issue, pomade was the fix for me (wavy hair), until then I always just lived with my hair looking like shit until it reached the perfect balance of "unwashed enough to have some weight and texture on it, clean or dry shampooed enough to not look super unwashed".
TBD the first photo is a dumbass haircut too, it’s just on someone with good bone structure
Pretty sure it's a profile mug shot as well.
If you look closely at the left picture the hair cut isn't actually good, the tattoos, beard, earrings and confidence is carrying.
still way better than the other one
That's not a chad haircut, that's the basic slavic haircut
Implying that basic Slavs aren't Chad as fuck.
100% his hair wasn’t long enough to begin with and the stylist told him so and he still went ahead. Also what’s chad about that? It’s a chav haircut and chavs are like the opposite of chad.
Yeah, the barber should have told you that cut doesn't match your bone structure.
Paying $100 for a haircut doesn’t always mean the stylist has the requisite skills.
It does mean they have the most important skills in the free market... sales.
They might’ve also realized anon was (as usual) a complete fucking idiot when he showed the stylist the picture of some dude and called him a chad.
“lol I’m fuckin dumbfuck’s shit all the way up and I’m rippin his stupid ass off while I’m at it!”
I give haircuts to myself and the shaving device I got recently was like 40-50 EUR and it s expected to last a couple years like the one before it.
My reasons for not going to the proper place is:
Mine looks plain, in the beginning they look even worse then you start getting it. The advice I would give others wanting to try that: dont shave too much so the small imperfections will not be too obvious.
Yeah, this is a terrible attempt at that cut. The real thing is more of a fade while OP got a really high bowl cut. Lack of product doesn't help, but product can't fix the lack of fade.
The main issue is the front. Op's is rounded, while the pic provided is straight across on the bangs.
It's also just way too high, angle's all whack. He's like 70% forehead.
You spent $100 to look like that?
The problem is entirely you. The fact you want a "chad" haircut is the problem. It's probably for the best the biggest incel echo chamber is gone.
Chad is pretty much common parlance now, it's use hasn't been a good metric of incellibecy in at least two years
I don't think I've ever met anyone normal who refers to themselves as Chad. They aways come of as needy and trying to prove something.
It really hasn't. If all the people you're associating with are using Chad and Stacy in regular conversation, you need to expand your pool of friends.
They both look terrible.
How about you actually put some product like wax or gel in your hair so you can style it properly?
I can't believe I had to scroll this far down to see this.
Because it wouldn't help. That cut makes him look like an 18th century nun. I bet the barber used a bowl
It would, he has fine hair and no matter what length or how it was cut it's not going to look great without some product to give texture for a crop type cut.
The sound of hoof beats cross the glade!
Good folk, lock up your son and daughter!
Beware the deadly flashing blade,
unless you want to end up shorter!
Black Adder! Black Adder! He rides a pitch black steed!
Black Adder! Black Adder! He's very bad indeed!
Black - his gloves of finest mole.
Black - his codpiece made of metal.
His horse is blacker than a vole.
his pot is blacker than his kettle.
Black Adder! Black Adder! With many a cunning plan!
Black Adder! Black Adder! You horrid little man!
Doesn't look like he has any product in his hair like the guy on the left. Still looks like the barber did a bad job tho.
The thing is the guy on the left didn't have a good cut either.
yeah that cut is just kinda ugly
but also look at how much forehead is visible on each of them
Confidence makes the Chad, not the haircut.
If you're going to pay $100 for a bowl cut you should at least make sure they have a big enough bowl...
Chad-to-be gets to learn the hard way about lighting, styling, product lining, beard profiling... and facial structure.
Comb it up and back, with gel if necessary
After 20 years of terrible haircuts punctuated by occasionally decent ones, I just started shaving my head in parts every few years. If mechanics fucked me half as hard and half as often, I’d learn how to fix my own car. Prob’ly getting a tall Mohawk in a few months, but I’m not sure what I’m going with yet.
He can become a youtuber with that haircut
Something similar happened to me. I went to a really high end expensive barber and we talked for 15mins about what i wanted and I said that i'd like him to recommend things and go with his opinion. We found a hairstyle that I also liked. After the haircut 5 different people asked me if I cheaped out on my haircut because it looks like shit. They said its not even that the style if bad they said it looks poorly cut. I am never ever straying away from telling barbers "Cut it short on top #2 on the sides"
„Number 2 on the sides“ sounds like something our 5 year old would serve with his sand cake.
You muh-muh-make me hu-hu-happy.