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Know that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good

Be the kind of friend/parent/mentor, etc. that you would like to have.

Get lost and leave us in peace.

"Nobody has to know everything", "avoid unnecessary judgement ", "Have a good time, only you can control that", "uncertainty is the only thing that is certain". Pick your favorite I have more.

"Oops"

This too shall pass. It may pass like a damn kidney stone, but it’ll pass.

Learn more useless math, someday it'll be useful somehow

Historically this seems to be the case

Don't be a dick.

Don't be cool, be good.

If you wait till the last minute.. then it only takes a minute.

It was always live hard, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse, but now that I'm older I can only manage one of those :/

"I'm not worried about it".

If you have a problem, you can either fix it or you can't. If you can fix it, fix it, problem gone. If you can't fix it, worrying just gives you an additional problem.

Can't fix it? Fuck it!

I wish I was joking, but it's "fuckit bucket."

Live like a dog: if you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it and walk away

"I'm a problem-solver."

Thanks to death, there is no permanent suffering.

"Life is a joke of cosmic proportions."

Suffering exists just because. People who don't deserve it live lives of comfort and decadence. There's no rhyme or reason to life. And the punchline isn't even apparent to any of us.

Do what comes easy.*

*That’s career advice. If you do what you love for money, you will soon hate it.