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submitted 10 months ago by narwhal@lemmy.ml to c/memes@lemmy.ml
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[-] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 145 points 10 months ago

I already don't eat breakfast and I'm still poor, what now WSJ???

[-] Whaler_Shaver@lemmy.ca 74 points 10 months ago

Economists hate this one SECRET HACK you can do to avoid poordom. Among investmentology specialists it is a well guarded secret that switching to a making money framework instead of the popular losing money framework has a long term net positive effect on your private economy.

[-] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 26 points 10 months ago

Of course, the answer was right in front of me! I just need to pull on those bootstraps harder

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[-] Cybermass@lemmy.world 93 points 10 months ago

Of course this comes from the wall street journal lmao straight propaganda

[-] ComradePorkRoll@lemmy.ml 24 points 10 months ago

I'm not religious, but I do feel like writing something like this is comparable to selling your soul to the devil. The person who wrote this abandoned their humanity for capitalists and they should be ashamed.

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[-] Objects@lemmy.sdf.org 75 points 10 months ago

My prescriptions cost so much too. Maybe I should just stop taking my antidepressants and see how it rides out. .

[-] FlickOfTheBean@beehaw.org 24 points 10 months ago

"If you spiral into the grave, your cost of living goes down by 100%!" - some jackass at the wsj soon, probably

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[-] Drusenija@lemmy.world 70 points 10 months ago

Tomorrow's headline, "Millenials are single handedly killing the breakfast industry".

[-] Blackmist@feddit.uk 68 points 10 months ago

Pro-tip: You can save money on living expenses if you just live in a cardboard box by the roadside and die.

[-] ganove@feddit.de 22 points 10 months ago

Please not by the roadside, noone wants to see your progress to absolute freedom.

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[-] fresh@sh.itjust.works 67 points 10 months ago

โ€œInstead of seeking happiness, save money with miseryโ€

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[-] tjaden@lemmy.sdf.org 64 points 10 months ago

The Wall Street Journal is just shitposting for rich people.

[-] stu@lemmy.pit.ninja 58 points 10 months ago

Aside from being tone deaf, I think this is bad advice. Common breakfast foods are fairly cheap comparatively and I'm pretty sure most nutritionists recommend eating something for breakfast to kickstart your metabolism. If I were skipping/reducing a meal, it would be lunch.

[-] ikidd@lemmy.world 27 points 10 months ago

Gluconeogenesis does that well enough.

Plenty of people don't eat breakfast. I'll be nauseous for the rest of the day if I have anything before noon.

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[-] TwoGems@lemmy.world 55 points 10 months ago

Maybe we should eat billionaires instead

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[-] StewartGilligan@lemmy.world 51 points 10 months ago

To not get murdered, die right now...

[-] mashbooq@lemmy.world 47 points 10 months ago

Maybe the WSJ has a point; we could save a lot of money if we stopped buying breakfast and just ate the WSJ staff instead

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[-] espersentinel@lemmy.ml 46 points 10 months ago

They act like most of us even have time to make breakfast like we're living in some 90's sitcom

[-] IDontHavePantsOn@lemm.ee 49 points 10 months ago

It's people like you that make me look like an asshole. Every morning I wake up at 3am to squeeze orange juice, make sausage gravy, biscuits, waffles, 5 omelettes, 40 pancakes, 6lbs of bacon, hash browns, buttered toast, and right after my son comes down the stairs, puts his ball cap on, grabs a single piece of bacon, heads out the door in a rush, I chase him down with a PB&J he inevitably always forgets. But it's not like I want to waste 40lbe of food per day. Some days I just want my son to sit down and eat the 40lbs of food I prepared. He may think I'm overbearing but I'm really overcaring.

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[-] TransplantedSconie@lemm.ee 43 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

"We know life is Hard, but have you tried Ultra Hard by skipping the most important meal of the day and starting out famished?"

[-] Steak@lemmy.ca 31 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Off topic but I don't think breakfast is any more or less important than a meal any other time of the day. Most days I only eat one big meal around dinnertime and maybe have a few bites of some snack throughout the day. I've been like that for years now it started from doing 12 hour construction shifts where I'd just work all day with a coffee and maybe an apple or something then eat a big meal once I was home. I don't do construction anymore but the way I eat stuck with me. It's probably worth pointing out that I'm very fit and a healthy bodyweight (5'10 152lbs) and I don't suffer any negative effects from living like this. I'd say I'm healthier than 90% of the people I know.

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[-] Dirk@lemmy.ml 42 points 10 months ago

If you don't have enough money for bread, buy cake instead!

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[-] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 41 points 10 months ago

"And while you're at it, do you really NEED to sleep?"

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[-] ComradePorkRoll@lemmy.ml 39 points 10 months ago

I hope whoever wrote this trips in their bathroom and gets a severe brain injury.

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[-] Anonymousllama@lemmy.world 35 points 10 months ago

No need to skip meals, there's plenty of rich to eat

[-] yogthos@lemmy.ml 35 points 10 months ago

I see they moved on from telling us not to have avocado to toast to just not have any toast.

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[-] TopShelfVanilla@sh.itjust.works 34 points 10 months ago

Your life is hard? Add malnourishment and see if that helps.

[-] Haha@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago

Maybe I should get more money and live a normal life yea?

[-] collegefurtrader@discuss.tchncs.de 40 points 10 months ago

Have you tried not being poor?

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[-] unconsciousvoidling@lemmy.one 33 points 10 months ago

nO bOdY iS bUyInG aNytHinG!!!!

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[-] superfes@lemmy.world 30 points 10 months ago

I already skip breakfast, gonna need additional money saving tips...

[-] Brickhead92@lemmy.world 28 points 10 months ago

No worries, I've got you. Skip lunch to save additional money.

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[-] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 26 points 10 months ago

The headline is as valid as "just stop being poor"

[-] jabib@beehaw.org 25 points 10 months ago

Instead of planning for retirement, consider dying instead!

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[-] speaker_hat@lemmy.one 25 points 10 months ago

It's fun and games, but lately I've seen 2 colleagues eating from the office kitchen the leftovers of extra bread and cream cheese, instead of ordering. It's actually sad.

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[-] KaiReeve@lemmy.world 23 points 10 months ago

Skip 1 meal to save money

Skip 2 meals to lose weight

Skip all 3 meals and end world hunger

It's just that simple.

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[-] figaro@lemdro.id 23 points 10 months ago

Haha the poors should just eat less food! Problem solved!

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[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 21 points 10 months ago

We need a Marx-as-Clippy emoji for "it seems that it may be time to improve society somewhat. Would you like help with that?" marx-hi

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[-] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 19 points 10 months ago

To save even more money, switch over completely to a diet of things you find on the ground.

To save even more money, stop bathing, showering and brushing your teeth.

To save even more money, stop living in a house and move into the sewers.

To save even more money, stop wearing clothes.

To save even more money, stop communicating with expensive words, settling instead for grunting, growling and maybe barking like a dog. Consider filing your teeth pointy.

To save even more money, stop using tools. Emerge from your sewer hideout only at night to prowl the streets on all fours, feral and bewildered, eyes grown pale and milky from years in the dark sewers darting maniacally back and forth while your filth-encrusted teeth and nails twitch in anticipation of the slightest movement.

This is how I was able to afford a starter house by age 30. This and a $400 000 loan from my father.

[-] MisterFrog@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago

Yeahh intermittent fasting bro ๐Ÿ’ช /s

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[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago

I thought this was a joke, but no, it's real.

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this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2023
1347 points (98.5% liked)

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