this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2025
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[–] Pudutr0n@feddit.cl 44 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What good is the 200 million then

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago

You only have to do it for 2 days. Just put yourself into a medically induced coma for 2 days. Its easy money.

[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hard dilemma ... Do you guarantee that the table will not change dimensions in those 2 days?
Needs some planning, there might be ways to avoid measuring a table for a while.

[–] zloubida@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago

For a while, maybe, but two whole days?

[–] whatsisface@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 months ago

No. It's not worth the lasting damage it would cause. You'll need to live with it for the rest of your life.

All the people answering "yes" so confidently are severely underestimating the life-altering consequences this sort of trauma can cause. No amount of money would ever fix it.

[–] mhzawadi@lemmy.horwood.cloud 16 points 2 months ago

Wait, you guys measure tables?

I just eat off them

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

Ask someone else to measure it for me

[–] ouRKaoS 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

"Uhh.... it's a little over the line, so that's a half? So is that twenty three, one slash four, and a half?"

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 4 points 2 months ago

Sounds close enough to me! I'll double-check in a few days if I need to, I appreciate your help! Here's $10, buy yourself a banana

[–] SippyCup@feddit.nl 1 points 2 months ago

This physically hurts me

[–] LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Pay em a buck

[–] ohshit604@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Hate to break it to you, it’s out of tolerance, time for that non-conformance report.

[–] JackLSauce@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] CH3DD4R_G0BL1N@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

I can’t know how to hear more about tables!

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 12 points 2 months ago

Nooo, my database is fucked!

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago

Look, if I can't slap my dick down on the table, life isn't worth living. And, by definition, that is a form of dick measuring. Since it measures the dick against the table, the table is therefore measured against the dick.

However! If someone would volunteer to be a flesh table for the period of the no-table-measuring, that would be acceptable. If I can measure my dick against someone's shoulders or hips, problem solved, and I'm 200 mil richer.

[–] CMDR_Horn@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Order 200m worth of tables demand 3 day delivery

[–] listless@lemmy.cringecollective.io 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

maybe i'm a fool, but i think i might be able to do it...

[–] perishthethought@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

Worth a shot, eh?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 2 months ago

I can still measure other things, tho, right?

[–] Engywuck@lemm.ee 8 points 2 months ago

I'll just pay someone else to measure it.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

36 hours in and I would think I'm in the clear then someone would need some real help, like loading their truck to move some stuff for their kids party and ask me, "think it will all fit?" In that moment reflexes would lose the money.

[–] Digestive_Biscuit@feddit.uk 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I was actually measuring my desk today as I want to fit a draw under it.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)
[–] lunarul@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Must be a small desk to only fit a draw. Larger ones can fit drawer. Industrial sized ones fit drawest.

[–] missandry351@lemmings.world 7 points 2 months ago

Bring it on

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

For 200m I could just hide in bed for a few days.

[–] EtherWhack@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

So no bananas for a couple days...

Sounds killer, but I'm up for the challenge

[–] shoo@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Depends which table

[–] DeusUmbra@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Rogal Dorn, is that you?

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago

If the width and the hight of the table... Hold on... Oh crap i already lost the money.

[–] BuckRowdy@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

what if I don't use a tape measure?