Swearing is a useful skill.
Give them a double espresso and a kazoo
this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2025
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But a kazoo can be taken away - and a good swear word can be enjoyed for a lifetime.
The kazoo is the crowning touch. I'd add giving them a husky puppy and a fully automatic Nerf dart gun with 10,000 rounds.
The dog doesn't deserve that
In reality, yeah. We also don't give unattended children food without knowing their allergies either, and we don't train them to torment their parents. We just ask the parents to either tend to their children or else leave. Signs like this are just a cheeky reminder.
We don't?
Shit...
We all make mistakes, it's okay. I once had a conflict with a family member and then bought their children squeaky hammers. Unethical and petty? Yes. Satisfying and at least vaguely just? Also yes.
Essentially brought up to speed with the rest then?
Very similar energy.
Siboire!
Plot twist, the child has undiagnosed ADHD and will behave like an angel after the red bull.
"Well, fuck me. I feel goddam calm for once."
Come on, Grandma, it's time to get you back to Facebook.