this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2025
406 points (98.3% liked)

Not The Onion

17889 readers
794 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
all 27 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Lupo@lemmy.world 84 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'd pay money to watch an ICE agent try to put a hat on an alligator

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What? That's crazy talk! How could you watch that.....without popcorn???

POPCORN! GET'CHER POPCORN HERE! CAN'T WATCH A FASCIST MEET HIS END WITHOUT DELICIOUS BUTTERY SALTY POPCORN!

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

They did say they'd pay so presumably there'd be some production value to the affair. I'm seeing a Roman theme, along the lines of "Christians to the lions".

[–] MangoCats@feddit.it 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Photo made with AI, and that's not Alligator Intelligence.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Still. Both Lupo and I would pay money to see them try and put a hat on a gator.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 37 points 2 months ago (2 children)

If you have ever thought about what you would do during Nazi Germany, it is whatever you are doing now.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] aceshigh@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Holly shit. Cheers.

[–] Bebopalouie@lemmy.ca 35 points 2 months ago

Alligator Auschwitz

[–] GrumpyDuckling@sh.itjust.works 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wouldn't work because alligators brains are too big to work for ICE.

[–] AmbiguousProps 16 points 2 months ago

They also aren't ashamed or scared to show their faces.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 27 points 2 months ago

So the lizard people (republicans) are finally going to shed their 'human' skin and reveal themselves?

[–] renzhexiangjiao@piefed.blahaj.zone 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

well that's an insult to the alligators. I doubt they want to have anything to do with those nazis

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 month ago

alligators are remarkably non-violent for being obligate carnivores

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

A fraction of your tax dollars went to finding and paying the employee who would ultimately create this image on the clock.

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Yeah but we saved Gaza! Only we didn't.

[–] Lupus@feddit.org 14 points 2 months ago

So predatory, stealthy until they strike, pretty brainless, mostly instinct driven, fierce to brutal, dangerous, opportunistic to the point they would eat their own kind if convenient, unpredictable and most importantly - famously resistant to change or growth. Seems oddly self aware...

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hugo Boss did much better uniforms.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 months ago

This was Hugo Bass, from the fish and wildlife dept.

[–] bizzle@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Why are these alligators better identified than real ice

[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

This is shaping up to be Holocaust 2.0.

[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 6 points 2 months ago
[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 months ago

Let's say hypothetically that these detention centers actually were humane and actually needed. They're not, they're concentration camps and just a precursor to death camps, but let's pretend for a second that all that is well, these are just nice facilities for immigrants to wait until they go back to their vacation spot...

Even with that, this fucking oist is still disgusting and insane, and it comes from a government account.

[–] ArchmageAzor@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Now what did Homer Landscriby mean by this?