this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2025
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[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 102 points 2 months ago (3 children)

No. He didn't steal. He is a mighty hunter. Yes he is. Yes he is! He hunted down the mighty sausage beast, stalked it, and killed it all on his own. Yes he did! Yes he did! And he did murder while being so adorable! Yes he is. Yes he is!

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 34 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's a helluva tale for a neighbor that likely just gave him one

[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

All cats believe in their hearts that they are mighty lions and tigers. Let them have this. :D

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I mean, to any creature that weighs 3 pounds or less, he's right. If you're a field mouse a house cat is a terrifyingly effective predator.

More tuna are eaten by house cats than lions.

[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well, according to my cats, they get the tuna because they killed the tuna. They are the mighty hunters after all.

My cat just finds the nearest big idiot to yell at. That's usually me.

[–] iltoroargento@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Honestly, if a cat was super interested in one of my bratwurst, I'd give them a present lol probably one I'd let cool for some time too, so it's not too hot for them.

I have a feeling this kitty made some friends, but wouldn't put it past them to snag it haha. My mom's cat used to take all the dog toys in the neighborhood and everyone knew just to come to the door to ask for them back lol

Edit: "if" not "of"

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I’d probably cut it in half or something. That’s one bigass meal.

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Also probably way more salt than a cat should really have, sausages are (usually) loaded with the stuff to not, y'know, kill you with bacteria.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 months ago

and taste good, we need a whole lot more salt than cats do since we're so much bigger and sweat a bunch.

[–] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago

For some reason, I'm reading this in John Oliver's voice.

[–] gac11@lemmy.world 43 points 2 months ago

"Khajiit has wares, if you have coin."

[–] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Quick, let me in, they're right on my tail!"

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 2 months ago
[–] Zwiebel@feddit.org 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

A neighbors cat once yoinked a hole steak from the table with it's paw xD

[–] Screamium@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] defaultusername@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, no need to censor the word "asshole".

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Calamari ass rings chef’s kiss

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 months ago

You know the chef is sending a message when your calamari includes the hunting hooks. 😵‍💫

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

A small cross section of a tube steak, obviously

[–] BarneyPiccolo 16 points 2 months ago

Greatest day of his life. He will remember this forever.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hmm, not a single “no outdoor cats” comment in this whole thread (yet.)

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 months ago

NextDoor doesn't know how to log on... yet.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The furry little god pulled a Ferris Bueller and got away with it.

Legend.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] qisope@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 months ago

That's what I said, but with more furor.

[–] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 months ago

Abe Froman? The sausage king of Chicago?

[–] renamon_silver@lemmy.wtf 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 months ago

There's no collar on the cat, that's very likely.

In other word oop have good neighbour.

[–] glitch1985@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago
[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

peak cat. Mine brings yukky mangled mice and birds.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago

Well if you would just demonstrate that you know how to catch and kill your own, she could relax about trying to teach you.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 months ago

You should send them to school with the orcas.

[–] dis_honestfamiliar@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 2 months ago

Then there's me like: Oh a cat. Here Kitty Kitty. You want a sausage? And there he goes. He's probably afraid of humans.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Now you just gotta teach him/her to team up with the local corvids. 🤌🏼

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

As a kid I had the genius idea of training magpies to steal stuff and bring it to me thinking it was the perfect crime; can't arrest a bird and the bird is who stole. But then I learned that is actually still illegal. 😔

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 months ago

Illegal =/= enforceable, FWIW.

[–] floo@retrolemmy.com 6 points 2 months ago

Good kitty!

[–] kikutwo@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

How was it?

[–] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

it's polite to bring something to a potluck

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

So? How was it?

[–] ErrorCode@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Good kitty!

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 3 points 2 months ago

They also bring the carbon and salt(?)!