The Onion and other satire w/ layers

Other metrics for the US economy were also impressive. GDP growth was recorded at a healthy 47%, while inflation dropped to zero. Only North Korea had better economic data for the month.

Half a billion new jobs were created in the US in July, according to figures released since Donald Trump fired Bureau of Labor Statistics commissioner Erika McEntarfer.

The unemployment rate plummeted from 4.1% to -200%, the biggest fall since records began. It is believed to be the first time firing someone has increased employment numbers. [...]