this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Vej@lemm.ee 91 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Why do we need a preserving corpse box. By the time I die, I will be more micro plastics than man. I will not decay. I will be embalmed by plastic symbiosis.

[–] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.one 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

One last boost for the economy at Earth's expense

[–] metaStatic@kbin.social 19 points 1 year ago (4 children)

who can afford to die in this economy?

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[–] OrderedChaos@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Soo you're saying we should melt you down and make Legos out of you?

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'd sign up for that. A new lease on eternal life!

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[–] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 72 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I've told my family more than once to arrange my funeral the cheapest way possible. If they had the option to dump me in the ocean, they have my blessing. Don't spend money on me, I'm DEAD.

[–] Travelator@thelemmy.club 22 points 1 year ago (12 children)

Donate your used meat parts to your local medical school. It's fun, educational, and a great way to stay in shape!

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[–] Rodeo@lemmy.ca 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Funerals are for the living.

Don't tell your family what to do at your funeral, because you'll be dead. It's not for you, it's for the people left behind. So let them do what they feel is right.

Besides, how could ever know or care? You're DEAD.

[–] hydrospanner@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

It seemed apparent, to me at least, that the person you replied to had the intention of telling their loved ones not to spend on OP's account. Not that they're forbidding the family from any course of action.

I guess if you take it super literally, okay, whatever. But the smallest amount of thought seems to make this obvious.

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[–] ATDA@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hell I told mine to hit up those shady companies on This Week Tonight. You can get rid of my body and get a few hundred dollars? Win win I don't care.

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[–] EvilEyedPanda@lemmy.world 55 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Dump my body unceremoniously on the lawn of a billionaire.

[–] And009@reddthat.com 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ocean is public property. Float around the world in 800 days

[–] shadeless@discuss.tchncs.de 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In the stomach of three sharks, twenty crabs and that one weird turtle

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[–] VieuxQueb@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 year ago

I like that idea !

[–] HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Cremate me and blow my ashes in their eyes.

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[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I just want them to play "it's raining men" as they scatter my ashes. Because, well...

[–] TokenBoomer@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What about “Freedom,” by George Michael?

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[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

No joke y'all, plan shit like this now, not tomorrow, not next year. And I don't care your age or health. If you die tonight, the funeral industry vultures will swoop on your grieving people and fuck them over.

Working on end-of-life stuff with my new wife (both of us 52), and she doesn't like it, but it's getting done. If I eat it tomorrow, she'll be buying a casket, plot, headstone, whatever the hell she's told to buy.

Get a will drawn up, get a Living Will signed and notarized. Hell, just look up "end of life documents" and get to work if you love the people you might be leaving.

And if you're married, FFS get life insurance, preferably whole life. It's hilariously cheap if you're young, and I mean stupid cheap, like $10-20/mo. cheap for fat stacks. Study on it a bit, don't get jerked around! Had a good friend over the other night who sells and explained much.

Tried to get us on a plan that immediately pays out funeral expenses. Sounds great! Nah, we'll self-insure that small bit. Instead we'll setup a joint account and auto-pay $100-$200 a month until we're feeling good about it. $10-20K? Can't afford that? Who cares?! Pay $25/mo., whatever, it'll stack if you're young.

tl;dr: The funeral business gets away with this shit because we don't plan, and that's on us. And if you want a casket? Sure, take a plan as pictured.

[–] Hellnikko@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Plan WAY ahead and donate your body to science. Family isn't stuck with a bill to the vultures. Cremation even costs way too much to pay people that prey on grieving family for something that is inevitable. And science benefits from your donation. Ultimate win.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

"science" doesn't take every body, and I've outlived two of the three doctors who want to experiment on my corpse (much to their chagrin).

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

THAT is a fine idea! Totally forgot!

And let's not forget to check that organ donor box. See how it works in your country.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Also, tell the guy that digs the hole how big the coffin is including handles.

Because I went to a funeral last year where it didn't fit.

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[–] just_change_it@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] Rusty@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why are coffins so expensive? I'm going to start telling people to throw me into trash when I'm dead like Frank Reynolds.

[–] Travelator@thelemmy.club 8 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I have done some woodworking, and I'd have a difficult time providing a decent casket for $1149. These are obviously sourced from low labor cost areas.

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[–] TokenBoomer@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

That’s a better meme, and online only.

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Nah. I really want to make my death someone else's problem.

Also, people aren’t going to care about proper disposal when the apocalypse kicks in.

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[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (12 children)

Coffins are a huge waste of money and space. Cremation's the way to go.

[–] Furbag@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just throw me in the garbage, man.

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[–] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

When I die fire me out of a freakin cannon into the sun.

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[–] ScottThePoolBoy@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Had to plan an unexpected funeral. They were going to be cremated but we wanted to have a service first. They have caskets, that are meant to be burnt, for the low price of $6,000. This was over 10 years ago too. I'm sure it's much more now.

[–] Norgur@kbin.social 9 points 1 year ago

Only 6k? That's a steal! As in "they are blatantly stealing money from you"

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Jeez, a refrigerator-sized cardboard box would be free.

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[–] raynethackery@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

We just rented the casket for my father's funeral. Then he was shipped to the crematorium.

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[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If it were up to me ... I'd prefer you just wrap my body in a plastic bag and throw it in the trash

The world disregards human life so easily in so many parts of the world ... why should anyone have any respect for my dead body.

[–] FlickOfTheBean@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

The unfortunate answer to your question is very likely only because there is money to be made....

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[–] RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago
[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 year ago (3 children)

When I die, I don't give a shit what happens to my body, do whatever causes people and the planet the least ammount of crap.

I weigh alot, so use a cart to wheel me around so you don't injure your backs trying to carry me.

If cremation is the least bad, do that, if freeze drying is less bad than that, do that.

If you can use my corpse for science or education, go ahead.

Just, please wait untill I am dead.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

okay, I'm sure ~~Reddit~~ Lemmy comments serve as a legal last will and testament & post-mortem directives. So we will remember what you told us.

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I will trust that you act a notary public on the matter.

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[–] SternburgExport@feddit.de 13 points 1 year ago

I don‘t want to be put in casket when I die and have people mourning. Two things should be thrown when I die: a big ass party and whatever is left of me into the trash.

[–] Doorbook@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well when I die, it is not my problem anymore..

I left VERY clear instructions to throw me in the trash.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Save thousands by picking the ugly color for your coffin!

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[–] pomodoro_longbreak@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Catch me going out in that burnt mustard death whip babeee 😎

But seriously, it's natural burial AKA "green burial" for me.

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[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

It's not that absurd if you're thinking of your family. Just... myself and other people have way different priorities. Some that might involve dipping my corpse in peanut butter and covering it in birdseed so that I might be the world's first human pinecone bird feeder.

Edit: I just hope when I'm dead there is one person around to say, "He's dead, he could in no way possible give one more single fuck.."

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