this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 74 points 1 year ago

“They’re trying to convince me the slaves my ancestors owned were slaves.” does really hit the nail on the head

[–] crawancon@lemm.ee 71 points 1 year ago (1 children)

they were all funny.

i did lol at this one

“The idea that a number could go into another number is inherently sexual, and therefore grooming."

[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 57 points 1 year ago

I thought we were learning how to think, but we’re just supposed to blindly assume the Holocaust happened.

I thought The Onion is supposed to be satire. I swear I've heard this one before

[–] OpenStars@discuss.online 52 points 1 year ago

I no longer feel any joy when people get killed by the police.

Well, now that's it, they've covered the entire range...

My teacher is a woman.

Dayum, they went there too, huh? :-P

[–] PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“I stopped stealing lunch money and started reallocating the means of production for cooperative use.”

Sounds like a win/win tbh

He and Damon need to team up

[–] tsonfeir@lemm.ee 30 points 1 year ago

The idea that a number could go into another number is inherently sexual, and therefore grooming.

I bet this one could actually get some traction

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 year ago

alt-text

Josephine Warlin, 8
"Our school mascot is a safe needle disposal box."

Kyle Lowe, 12
"Unfortunately, my underfunded school can only afford the most basic propaganda."

[–] satanmat@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I expect my mom will email this to me tomorrow as being real ….

[–] Alacriiity@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 year ago

Back in the days of email forward chains my grandma sent me an onion article about Harry Potter being demonic. One of the funniest reads ever. She missed the ONION part as the url to her said THEONION and she though theology!

[–] just_another_person@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

This one had me lol'n pretty hard

[–] metaStatic@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

“Our school mascot is a safe needle disposal box.”