this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2024
194 points (96.2% liked)

Not The Onion

12314 readers
394 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

cross-posted from: https://feddit.uk/post/9649319

While arguing against a proposal for safe storage requirements for firearms, Minnesota state Sen. Warren Limmer (R-Maple Grove) contended that rural citizens need guns readily available to deal with cows.

“You even walk too close to a cow, and it’ll take you down and trample you into dust,” Limmer said. “Fumbling around with a lock while a cow or a bull or any other animal is going after your daughter or your son — you can’t fumble around with a key or try and find the lockbox or put your thumb on a biometric key of some sort in your home while the danger is outside. This bill puts those individuals in even more danger.”

top 16 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Cruxifux@lemmy.world 52 points 7 months ago (2 children)

How do Americans have the dumbest people in their country making fucking laws?

Has this guy ever set foot on a farm? Needing a gun with you always to prevent killer cows from killing your children is such a pants shittingly stupid thing to say.

[–] Omgpwnies@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago

I grew up around cattle farms in Canada, and pretty much every farmer owned a rifle, but it was to protect the livestock from stuff like coyotes and other predators.

[–] morriscox@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago

Most states do outlaw sodomy.

[–] Spitzspot@lemmings.world 41 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The depth of ignorance is overwhelming.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 34 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Speaking as a Minnesotan... Limmer is not sane. most the republicans here aren't.

Remember the whole "Schools are providing litter boxes for kids who identify as furries" sound bite thing?

Yeah. that was literally the sanest candidate they could find to go against Gov. Walz.

[–] Plopp@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago

So if you're aware of these beastly murderous cows and you're still walking right up to them for some reason that's kinda on you, and if it all of a sudden tramples you into dust, you're dead and can't use the gun anyway. And if your kid is being trampled, are you just going to aim towards the general direction of your kid and unload? Or maybe that doesn't matter because the kid has turned into dust already. I have a hard time following the logic here. But I wanna learn more about those spectacular cows he's dealing with.

[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 16 points 7 months ago

How in the ever living fuck is that even relevant? Even if there are killer cows out there.... You would have unlocked your gun to bring with you when you were going to be in that dangerous situation.

[–] MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 7 months ago

The only thing worse than a Southern Republican is a Northern Republican. Apparently, the party must resort to abducting old white men from the dementia ward, lobotomizing them, and putting them on an amphetamine drip before they find something "suitable" to put behind a podium.

[–] rbos@lemmy.ca 10 points 7 months ago

I find a good shovel adequate defense against a cow. And don't be in a situation where there's an angry bull. Shockingly easy to avoid that.

[–] archomrade@midwest.social 6 points 7 months ago

Lol this guy represents maple grove? The one with Arbor lakes mall that has the Dave & Busters and Benihana?

The closest thing to a cattle ranch in maple grove is the Chuck and Don's pet store, but I don't think they have any cows there.

[–] taanegl@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

...you have to be fucking kidding me. KILLER COWS?!? What, the excuse well runeth dry? What's next, terrorist immigrants from the land of imagination?

[–] Mostly_Gristle@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

People say such absolutely ridiculous things on both sides of the gun debate I sometimes find myself wondering if a bunch of the pro-gun politicians aren't secretly on the payroll of anti-gun lobbyists and if a lot of the anti-gun politicians aren't secretly getting kickbacks from the firearms industry every time they say something that causes a big spike in sales.

Meanwhile, every time some wingnut says something stupid like this it gets that much harder to have a calm and rational discussion about this stuff.

[–] Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Anyone wanna start a business selling cow proof gun safes and cow proof trigger locks?

[–] TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 months ago

I'm in! Let's make some bank

[–] the_ocs@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago
[–] rovingnothing29@lemmy.world 0 points 7 months ago