TheChemist

To start, I am not suicidal or having thoughts of suicide, more having constant thoughts of "I hate it here! What is there to be happy about?".

I noticed, ever since I was around 8, I always had this sense of.. sadness within me. Despite what my parents thought, I always felt sad on the inside, and I can never remember a single time when I felt legitimately happy, rather than being forced by my parents and two brothers to act happy just to fit in with social cues.

Again, ever since I was 8, up to today, at 24, I still don't know what it feels like to be happy. And any of the supposed positives in life are completely invisible to me, and any of the negatives are as visible as a bright light at night. I also often felt more "numb" on the inside than sad, although the former isn't a huge improvement.

Most days, I struggle to get out of bed and wake up on time, and fall asleep on time.

I could never relate to any of my peers, who seemed to be able to express happiness that I always felt incapable of feeling. I also always had a sense of "Why are they happy?". Thus, I grew up with no friends, and never had friends until last year. Even then, they are online friends, and are often too busy to talk.

As a final clue, I have always had seasonal depression.... On all 4 seasons of the year. I told my mom about this last year, over the phone.... And she laughed in my face over the phone, saying that "It was funny I claimed something so ridiculous". Ever since, the main reason I take care of myself at all is out of spite for my mom always doubting the existence of depression.

I am in a situation where, all my friends are often too busy, so I often spend weeks, here in college, without talking to another soul. To make things worse, I am very shy, and I can stutter a lot in voice calls. And thus, I am often too scared to try and message my online friends (I have only about 5, and they are the first friends I ever made in life, and I only befriended them last year), to ask them if they can hang out. I did once, but I need time to work up the courage again to ask for a hang out.

So anyways, what is it that you do, to occupy your time, when you spend most of your days with nobody to talk to? And you yourself are often busy with things in life?

As some of you might know, I had asked about this anime previously. However, the place where I had been able to watch it, Aniwave, was recently shut down, so thus I was left without a place to find this cult classic of an anime. This one is very obscure, and was released in 2005, without ever being officially released outside of Japan.

The site is ww4. 9animes.org. (No space in between) I have had no problem watching Animes for free on Firefox and having UBlock Origin (Which Google recently discontinued for Chrome) prevents any ads.

That being said, that was when I was using my home internet. I had no notifications of accessing copyrighted material or the like. I had no problems. What is the likelihood that say, the school would get red flags from me using that site? Could it still work while I am here living on Campus? Should I try to find a VPN? (I am a bit of a rookie with this kind of thing).

Performed by Oregon's Orchestra Next, this musical movement was made to accompany and complement the show by Eugene Ballet Company. Kenji Bunch himself wrote; "Helping to tell this hauntingly beautiful but entirely wordless story for close to two hours was, simply put, the largest undertaking of my career to date, by a longshot."

Unlike Disney's Frozen, this Ballet Performance and Orchestral accompanying piece follows closely the original fairy tale.

More information here: And also reviews

To get it off my chest first... Holy Hell, was it beautiful, every single episode. And I almost never think that about much. This anime, it's an incredible shame that it is so obscure. From what I saw on Tumblr, this is indeed a Cult Classic. Having seen it in it's entirety, I can completely see why it is so beloved by the few that have been able to view it. It's a real shame that, unlike other works directed by the late Osamu Dezaki, such as Lupin III, The Rose of Versailles, even the CLANNAD movie.... this particular shoujo anime never got a release in the United States.

Compared to other adaptations of "The Snow Queen" by Hans Christian Anderson, I would say this is the best adaptation I have seen. It doesn't minimize details like the original fairy tale, it actually expands what sounds like The Hero's Journey in the original fairy tale, into actually being a long journey. Expands the journey into 36, 22-minute episodes. And instead of trying to come up with too much original ideas, the anime makes almost each and every episode an adaptation of another Hans Christian Anderson story. Not just well known classics like 'The Little Mermaid' and 'The Little Match Girl', but also obscure ones like 'The Pea Blossoms' and 'Good For Nothing'.

It can become almost a Scavenger hunt game; To try and find out what HCA Story each episode is based on, or inspired by. As someone who has been getting into HCA Stories not just as a Special Interest, but a full on permanent interest.

Anyways, as for how the characters are written, I really loved that, the anime took advantage of it's extra time, and gave time to not only show more characters, but also to expand the characterization of Kai, Gerda and even The Snow Queen herself. Every other character, even the ones that appear for only a single episode, all felt, well, like real people. I also really loved that, the Anime doesn't jump into the main plot, it builds up for 3 episodes, giving time to show a rather heartwarming and healthy bond between Kai and Gerda, and showing a platonic love between a boy and a girl. This extra time made me feel more for Gerda when she decides on her own, to go through a perilous journey, with half of it on her own, to find and rescue Kai. Thus, just like the book, it does a rare Gender Reversal of the Damsel in Distress Scenario. Very forward for a fairy tale written in 1845.

Gerda is determined, yet she isn't perfect. She needs help from people she meets, since while yes, she has the spirit, and energy, which is channeled into hard work, she isn't shown to be able to solve everything on her own, and she can be reckless a few times. She is only eleven years old. However, those flaws made her more appealing as a character, because I actually wanted to see how she could solve each dilemma

Kai, by contrast, as shown before his personality gets corrupted, is more laid back, more devoted to solitary activities, such as mathematics or school studies or using a loupe to gaze more closely into snowflakes, compared to manual labor such as gleaning spare pieces of wheat. However, that didn't make him come off as lazy, it instead made him feel like he prefers to work smarter, but he isn't malicious about it either, as shown by how he is willing to correct his insufficient effort. Although, one of my few criticisms is that, we don't get to see much more of Kai's personality before he get's corrupted by a mirror shard. In other words, he feels like a twelve year old boy, with his shortcomings

Overall, the main duo from the Fairy Tale, felt true to what few insights the fairy tale gave us of their personalities, while also feeling much more fleshed out as characters. From what I heard, these two wouldn't have been out of place in a Studio Ghibli work. And you can actually feel for Gerda as she goes on her journey, motivated by Platonic love. I also loved that they both loved roses, with Kai having White Roses, and Gerda having Red Roses.

The pacing is amazing, as there are several moments where there is no dialogue, only the characters wordlessly performing an action, therefore giving the viewer a chance to take in what is happening, without it being spelled out for you. There were many moments where I felt an anticipatory impatience, where I wanted to know what would happen, but yet, I knew I would regret trying to skip anything. Even the extra episodes based on existing HCA stories, they don't feel like filler, but instead, opportunities to show Gerda interacting with other people (I.E. She isn't defined solely by her quest of finding her best friend), and the moments that demonstrates the theme of the kindness of strangers, and Gerda being there to occasionally redeem a person that say, wanted to steal from others, where she inspires him to change his ways, or even an opportunity to help someone in need.

The Artwork is great too. What really stands out, is that the artwork was instead, inspired by European Animation from the 1990s and 1980s, rather than an Anime style artwork. The characters are realistically proportioned, and The artwork is always easy on the eyes. Not to mention it frequently uses still frames that were drawn by chalk, a signature "Creator's Thumbprint" of Osamu Dezaki.

Having watched it, it made me wonder, why isn't this anime, which was released in 2005, more well known. I often wish that this was less obscure, and had gotten an official release in the United States. This Anime series also helped me rebuild my creative spark, so I highly recommend this.

If so, what trigger warnings should one warn against?

Alternatively, I also saw on another post that said that, the trigger warning wasn't actually serious, but a satire

Either way, should I place a trigger warning if making a post discussing Disney, or do I not actually have to?

It is a 2005-2006 Anime Adaptation of Hans Christian Anderson's 'The Snow Queen'. From what I have read, it is kind of a Cult Classic, and it is unique in that, in it's storyline, it has story arcs adapted from other HCA fairy tales. From what viewers have said, it was a phenomenally made work.

I have wanted to watch it some day, but I have searched Crunchyroll, Amazon, AnimePlanet, and several other places meant for streaming Anime, and I can't find it. Similarly, I have found very little mentions of this from places other than Tumblr. Not even on Reddit.

Do any of you know where I could view this?

Update: I found it from the 9Anime link one of you provided. Thanks for your help.