The Onion

The small boats migrant crisis must be stopped immediately, so we can focus on helping our own people first, according to a man who lost his mind when he found out Sadiq Khan wanted to feed hungry school children at the taxpayer’s expense.

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Poilievre says “female spaces” should be reserved for “biological females” and “the men who control them” (www.thebeaverton.com)

submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

16 comments fedilink

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Christian Man Persecuted Simply For Driving 90 Miles Per Hour In School Zone (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

12 comments fedilink

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Defiant Nikki Haley campaign refuses to quit, “we have tonnes of support from our voter” (chaser.com.au)

submitted 1 year ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social

9 comments fedilink

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Zelensky Challenges Putin To Settle Ukraine War On The Dance Floor (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by raoulraoul@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

16 comments fedilink

Worth it just for the photo!

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'Hundreds Relieved of Existence Following Spirited Mishap at Gaza Food Truck' Writes New York Times Editor About War Crime (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

0 comments fedilink

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Mitch McConnell Donates Body To Lobbyists For Research (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by can@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social

12 comments fedilink

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Gen Z Announces Julie Andrews Is Problematic But Refuses To Explain Why (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by RobotToaster@mander.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social

18 comments fedilink

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Litter-Robot Recalls Thousands Of Self-Cleaning Litter Boxes That Accidentally Transported Cats To Year 1300 (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by tree@lemmy.zip to c/theonion@midwest.social

5 comments fedilink

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Sasha Obama Accused Of Nepotism After Getting Elected President Of Armenia (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by tree@lemmy.zip to c/theonion@midwest.social

7 comments fedilink

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Gov. Abbott Enlists Texas National Guard to Shoot at Wildfires (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 year ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social

19 comments fedilink

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Polish Man That Landlord Sent Over Smashes Hammer Through Wall, Leaves (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social

3 comments fedilink

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Conservative Think Tank Spends $40 Million Trying to Frame Girl Scout Cookies as Woke (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

30 comments fedilink

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Top 10 Movies That Have A Climax Involving a Giant Beam in the Sky (hard-drive.net)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Aatube@kbin.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

11 comments fedilink

Why was Hollywood so obsessed with sky beams? I mean they cared more about making sky beams evil than making sure we knew how evil their producers were.

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Malfunctioning embryo freezer charged with mass murder (www.thebeaverton.com)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social

7 comments fedilink

HUNTSVILLE, ALABAMA – Due to recent changes in Alabama state legislation, a malfunctioning embryo freezer has been charged with mass murder.