chapotraphouse

sometimes I wonder if this is me. I grew up in the sunny subtropics. the only relief from the temps was hiding indoors, long storms, or being shit faced. if you were loaded you could live near a beach or had a pool. I spent many years doing outdoor physical labor, getting absolutely brain cooked in the heat and humidity, in the glare of an oppressive sun.

I've steadily made my way north and now live in a place with supposedly dreary weather. grey skies, rains, cold and snow. dark early in winter.

it's kinda G. I like being in layers, like armor against the cold. I have more energy and drive to move around because it warms me up. and when it's too cold and crappy out from icy rains, I can just cozy up at home and make some warm food. like there's no social pressure to go out to some packed bar and be all sweaty with the other big boys trying to get so drunk the heat and stink doesn't bother us.

sometimes I wonder if all the dislocating of the last several hundred years is one of the factors behind all this. like some of us just function better in certain contexts.

My safe place is dressing up like one of the strangers from Dark City and walking around in the rain

Even better if there's a nice fog billowing about

idk if I feel invigorated by rain, but in the last few years as wildfires in north america have gotten worse and there are more frequent drought conditions, I always really appreciate the rain when it comes. especially in the fall, you can tell how thirsty the ground is as water soaks in.

also, as I've gotten older I've tried to change my thinking. instead of thinking 'wow it's a nice day, this is a beautiful place' or 'this is a miserable day and it's ugly outside' I try to think 'this is what it's like to be in a beautiful place when it is raining/dark/foggy/sunny'.

learning about botany has been helpful in the off-season as well. it is helpful to understand what vegetation does when it is not bursting with green. plants/trees/shrubs etc. aren't dead when they are grey, they are just sleeping. does seeing a sleeping child make you sad? to me no, even though they are less exciting than when they are awake.

i like the cold

but then it got too cold

Rain and darkness yes, I love the before storm ozone smell. If the power wasn't so unreliable here I would want much more frequent thunderstorms. Grey ice, melting snow & slush though? Nah, that season is very depressing for me.

I get it, heat is absolutely withering to me but I love the cold. Moving around feels good and warming, instead of making me feel like I'm dying.

It can be nice and comforting as a change of pace. Every setting and climate has its charm but

when I'm constantly inundated by intolerable heat and oppressively bright sunlight.

this is where i fucking thrive lol i am a sunny boy, give me arid conditions with scorching heat, drought, and deserts, I live for this sit

seasonal depression, feeling invigorated by rain and darkness?

Yes! Whenever it is rainy all day (and I'm talking like, stormy weather - constant drizzles are alright but I wanna hear the rain against the window inside) I usually have a better day mentally. I'm more likely to do stuff in the early morning (I am NOT a morning person usually) if its raining; more likely to just do stuff I wouldn't normally do on a sunny day in general (rainy days are usually my 'lets check off a bunch of random stuff I put on my to-do list months ago like buying a new showerhead & installing it' days)