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this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
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conservatives pick the weirdest most inconsequential hills to shit their pants on
Step 1: Pick an issue that is divisive*
Step 2: Boost it with stories about how bad the people on the wrong side are: won't someone think of the children?
Step 3: Watch the outrage donations roll on in
It's a playbook as old as time.
*Some people might call it divisive because one side is like "let's all become crabs and live in the ocean" vs the other side that's like "no let's continue using our opposable thumbs". But who am I to label whether one side is right and the other wrong?
Look, we don't get to choose if we want to be crab people, nature has just forced crab evolution on us
Oh great, the crab-apologists have showed up
Don't be so crabby
Crabs are the most perfect form in evolution. You will soon join us once you mold and reveal your exoskeleton, then you will know the perfection that are crabs.
chanting crab people crab people chanting
Crab people! Crab people!
crabification, dude
Carcinisation (American English: carcinization)
If you're going to correct someone, do it right.
You have it wrong, It's Gods will that we become crab people - it was ordained from the start of time
Look, I don't care what you do in the privacy of your own bathtub, but other people have to use the ocean and I don't want you putting any funny ideas in my kid's head about being a crab. His chitinous exoskeleton and claw are just a phase.
Your kid will be fine once he molts.
Step 3 is missing the part "and ignore actual issues that affect us all but solutions would make rich people less rich so it's better to distract them"
I think it is due to it not really being any loss for them if they fail to get something like that passed. It serves the purpose of the cheap "pops" of "sticking it to them libs", and if it passes then that is just a bonus. The whole point is like so many really stupid laws that "look/feel" like something was done but actually just wasted time or makes things just more annoying. So they are "seen" to be "fighting" the other team. Where as if they were to actually push something that requires real functional effort or could lead to massive loss of seats. They would then be seen as big losers and seen as the ego trippers that they really are. It is honestly shit that should just lead to them being put against a wall for all the intentional fucking around they are doing.