this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2024
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You make yourself coffee while familiarizing yourself with their kitchen enough to make a suggestion on how it could be laid out better.
That's right, Jeremy, I've been here nary a day and I already know your home better than you. You don't deserve this house, I deserve this house!
Change where their silverware drawer is to assert dominance.
I fart in the silverware drawer. So then they will open it like 'boy oh boy I need a fork right now OH NO ITS FARTS!'
Take a dump in their nipple cabinet.
I want a friendship divorce and I'm taking the house with me
Think of what this will do to the ottomans! Won't someone think of the ottomans!?
Honestly if my friend did this I’d let her reorganize my kitchen.
She’s about the same height as me, and lives in a tiny place, so she’d probably have some good ideas.
Also my cabinets and drawers are a mis-match hodgepodge (they aren’t all the same depth or height; some of them have lost half their volume for unknown ancient-house reasons) so I’m always down for ideas.