I don't know of any particular theory / concepts about this, but I do have a bunch of thoughts already lol. To start off with, trans women are in a double bind wrt femininity. If trans women are hyperfeminine they are critiqued as buying into patriarchal ideas of what women are (this also ties into the AGP stuff where people say being trans is 'just a fetish'). I.e. a story I read recently of a trans woman trying to get hired for a job in women's fashion saying more or less that she had 'become much more interested in fashion' after transitioning. The (cis female) recruiter then immediately got pissed off because the trans woman was enthusiastic in 'performing her gender role' (I put this in quotes because obviously it would be foolish to shit on a trans woman for working in womens' fashion). Then on the other hand if you're a trans woman and butch (or just refuse to show interest in dressing like a woman and such) you are accused of not really being trans, since you aren't committing to the bit. An example would be me in the past not getting girl clothes (primarily due to executive dysfunction, but the cause is irrelevant for this argument) and my mother accusing me of not actually being committed to being a woman. I forget if this specific line of reasoning is in Whipping Girl tbh.

I think it's always still critical to remember that the main crusades of feminism have still emphatically not been won. The nipple is not free, makeup still gets you better opportunities, the pay gap is still real, etc etc. As a result I think that the critique of 'choice feminism' is pretty unserious: you don't need to reassure women that they're still allowed to shave their body hair and put on dresses because they have always been able to do that.

Sliding back to I think what your point actually is: saying that women are being manipulated into wanting to dress pretty is just victim blaming? Many women will actively perpetuate the patriarchy and I think that's something worth getting upset about but I think it's foolish to say that they're all 'willing dupes.'

As a final point I will note that since attraction is very socialized, I've actually been able to condition myself to change a lot of what I find attractive by participating in certain social circles. That is to say that I meme'd my way into liking body hair. As long as you are around people who are attracted to trans women and love trans bodies I think it becomes much easier to cope with gender dysphoria. This comes largely from my own experience but also speaking to the girls I know has really shown that this maxim is true:

You either learn to love yourself through loving other trans women, or you learn to hate other trans women through hating yourself.

I am not transfemme and I'm a bit of a genderlib (haven't yet read Whipping Girl) so please take my thoughts with the grain of salt that should be associated with that, but I did want to offer some of my thoughts.

Femininity is not in itself a tool of patriarchy; it is enforced femininity that is. Femininity itself has a wide, broad existence outside of the narrow context of enforced femininity as a tool of patriarchy. I think that the patriarchal ideas of women are first and foremost that they are lesser, and from that is derived the idea that that which is associated with them is lesser. In being considered the "lesser", the "non-default", femininity often takes on a subversive quality that absolutely rejects traditional and oppositional sexism. To use Serano's definitions: traditional sexism is the positioning of maleness/masculinity above femaleness/femininity, while oppositional sexism is sexism rooted in the presumption that male and female are mutually exclusive, "opposite" sexes, i.e. the delegitimization of sex/gender non-conformity. It is the intersections of these two things that forms transmisogyny — quoting Serano, "Trans-misogyny is steeped in the assumption that femaleness and femininity are inferior to, and exist primarily for the benefit of, maleness and masculinity."

I feel that feminists who say to reject "choice feminism" have a false idea that dresses and makeup in themselves constitute the bulk of patriarchal oppression when that simply is not true. Patriarchal standards for women exist because of woman's position as an oppressed class, not the other way around. Hence there is a lot of power in embracing femininity in a way that rejects the patriarchal structure. A hell of a lot of queer people do this in various ways but people don't have to be queer to do it either. This isn't "choice feminism", it's countering the othering/devaluing of femininity.

Real women's liberation will come when the communist revolution brings true economic, legal, cultural, and political equality; and I'm pretty sure that many women after the revolution will still want to wear dresses, do makeup, and shave (certainly many Bolshevik women enjoyed makeup products and feminine fashion, for example!) I wouldn't call women who want to embrace feminine stuff to be gender traitors at all.

*some edits made to wording to hopefully clarify my point