this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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This feels really weird after so many years of having the egg mindset of wishing I was a cis woman, but refusing to be a trans woman, but now I'm honestly not sure if I'd prefer to have been born cis or not. It feels confusing, but probably a good sign in terms of self-acceptance?
It could be a step in the right direction. Wanting to be cis is a dead end that we need to abandon at some point, true self acceptance is only possible when we embrace transness and all its contradictions, and that's a pretty long process. Especially early on when there's still so much to endure it can seem almost impossible. But even moving from "i wish i was cis" to "i wish i would pass better and i wish i was prettier" is an improvement, because these are goals you can actually work on to at least some degree.
Another important thing and why i wrote "passing and pretty" is that a lot of trans people, especially transfems, conflate passing and being conventionally attractive. Sure, both are nice, both are obvious goals, but these aren't the same. You can look like shit and still pass perfectly, you can be hot af and be immediately clockable. A lot of transfems don't get that. They don't just aim to look like a girl, they aim to look like some influencer. I don't go for that, i'm not a teenage girl, i'm a fat old lesbian and my goal is looking like a fat old lesbian, not only because that's easier to achieve than being mfing ContraPoints, but because a fat old lesbian is who i am and it's cool as hell. I don't have to be attractive to some cishet guy who is doing sexuality by the numbers and struggles with being horny for somebody his bros would consider to just be a 6/10, in fact it's a massive advantage for me when i am invisible to that person and am instead attractive in a way that mostly works on queer women with severe mommy issues.
I'd pick trans every day
That's def a good sign. I'd never wanna be cis, being cis is weird. I Love Being Trans
I go back and forth honestly. Like sometimes I see women (especially cis lesbians) and it just kills me. Other times I'm like being trans is amazing.
However I'll say this, I would definitely rather be a trans woman than a content cis man
I went a long time thinking being trans was nothing short of a curse, but overtime it became something I was proud of and would re-up on if there was any kind of next round to life. I'm not saying everyone has to love being trans and not want to be cis, but I think it's a good thing to at least be at peace with it more than rage against it
Damn that's me