this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2024
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my dysphoria feels like one of those fire risk needle signs where it keep fluctuating between "nah you're good" and "i might kill someone if it would get me estrogen a day sooner". unfortunately, today is one of the bad days
DIY is out there
seriously considering it at the moment. i have like, 10 weeks until i have my planned parenthood appointment, and while i really want trained professionals giving me proper care and supervision, i know i could probably find 2 months of doll pills on the down low if i looked hard enough
honestly one of the big reasons i don't want to is because i feel like it would be mean to whatever doctor i'll be seeing? like, it feels rude and disrespectful to not listen to your doctor to me, and if i show up saying "actually i've already been doing this for 8 weeks now" just feels... flagrantly disrespectful? but also like, if they do that for a living, they've absolutely seen people do shit like that before, i'm not the first person to have done that, and also i shouldn't not do what i want because other people will look at me wrong
yeah I feel that. there's a social pressure there.
on the other hand waiting months for an appointment just to get some chucklefucks signoff on what you do with your own body is dumb and nobody should have to do it (not to mention the cost. supplies for a decade's worth of estrogen injectables is like sub $200, but through official channels I don't even wanna know the cost esp without insurance)
So idk
Fuck the doctors, they exist to help their patients, if that's the biggest obstacle you should totally diy for the moment. Very common for trans people to selfmed a few months or years before getting a prescription because it takes forever.
Be rude to doctors.
I suspect its common enough that they won't be surprised. They'll almost certainly ask. If you're doing monotherapy, they may not even do any tests until like 2.5-3 months after you start HRT. They only had me to bloodwork to check for potassium levels because spiro can cause them to go higher. Didn't even bother finding out baseline hormone levels.