Hope it was a great week everyone. Hopefully this one is even better. 
this post was submitted on 20 May 2024
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I have been thinking a lot about gender(rereading feinberg, and watching the judith butler video by philosophy tube helped), because well, women in my personal life are not "femme".
Noone uses makeup, clothes are generally treated as unisex(I and my family generally used to share clothes, everyone wore pants though), and hair is mostly short (at least for the cis women) for maintencae reasons.
So I have been saying that I want to be femme, but if I followed familliar examples, it would mean dressing as usual.
When I first told them why my hair was so important to me, the answer was: "But you know that long hair does not make a women, so why care so much?"
To which I don't have an answer except: "I like my hair". Which, is enough for me and my sourrundings.
Anyway, I deeply don't get gender really. Is the result of me thinking really hard, I know that I know nothing. I am mostly acting based on vibes, doing what feels right, and not orienting myself through social conventions(that train has left a long time ago anyway).
That's similar to the response I've gotten from the women in my family when I started letting my nails grow out (granted, I'm not out to them, so the wording slightly different). And at least my sister tends to be more femme presenting. My answer is generally just a shrug for that kind of thing.