this post was submitted on 23 May 2024
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Look, I get that when someone’s perception of you is incongruent with your self-concept it can create an internal conflict, and perhaps affect your self-esteem. The theory of self-perception is essentially based on these ideas.
Here’s how I evaluate the situation in this meme, this lady’s vagina may or may not be a bussy but it’s being perceived that way by at least one partner.
Regardless of the perception of that partner, we don’t know if that lady’s vagina is indeed a bussy, and there’s no way for her to say so herself based on a sample size of 1. So her effective experience is that of someone who has a partner who finds her genitals pleasing, but she’s distorting that experience for herself because of the dissonance between her self-concept of her vagina and whatever her partner thinks that vagina is.
Essentially tho, if her “bussy” is helping her get sexual attention and gratification, then I fail to see the problem. To me, it’s like saying “yeah I have a cake, but it’s not the cake I thought I had”, and I am like, a cake is a cake. Enjoy it.
You realize it's possible to have unenjoyable sex, right?
Yes but where is that indicated in the post? It’s only after he says bussy that she’s got an issue. At least that’s what I can tell 🤷♀️
I think you read the post wrong. This is being posted by a woman. "He" never says he has a bussy. It's the girlfriend/wife that is upset that her boyfriend/husband was pretending she was a guy, and that her actual pussy was a boys butthole.
Buddy, you do realize that the experience of her hearing that comment made the sex bad for her, right? That's why she's upset and made the post.
So I can’t say if the person who said it was imagining her as someone else, or perceiving her genitals as something different from her self image. If it’s the former, I can understand the frustration, but if it’s the latter, then I don’t think one should be so close minded that they’d let their own self image of themselves get in the way of their relationship. I guess that’s just my pov and I’ll leave it at that
Emotions aren't inherently logical. It's not so simple as "this shouldn't make me upset, therefore I won't be upset." It could very well be that OOP's partner did something like refuse to apologize because they "did nothing wrong." Acknowledging your partner's feelings and accommodating them is more important than being right.