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this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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weird trauma stuff, again
Going to the chronic pain clinic took me up to the other side of town where I lived in highschool, with mum. It's weird now because they built a bunch of strip malls and cheap shitty overpriced houses up there, but it's the same road, the same bike paths I used to ride to get to my ex's house, the same stupid convenience store.That was a decade ago now, and between time and the weird memory fog it almost feels like a hallucination, usually. Going back and seeing everything made if feel weirdly uncomfortably close to real though, despite my ex not living there anymore. It's all still there, shit really happened at that place, back then. The stupid suburban sprawl has subsumed the mostly empty highway, but it's all still there, I remember and I wish I didn't.
trauma discussion
I know the feeling, itβs the same whenever I visit my parents. They are getting older, and living in the house that I grew up in where a bunch of really bad shit went down. Being there makes me feel like iβm back where I was then, but also older. Idk, it is very unpleasant. Iβm happy that I do not live anywhere near there now, in fact I am in a completely different part of the country.
more trauma discussion
Big ups to moving away from where bad shit happenedmore trauma discuss
I increasingly feel that for me, moving past it will be living with it in a way that doesnβt hurt anymore. Like βthis is something that happened, and that is okay.β If that makes sense. This is something I think about a lot, because I cannot undo that it happened, and that it will always be part of my life, yβknow?spoiler
Yeah, I do know... Something that happened, and that is okay..γγΏγγ¬
It's funny cause the same thing has more or less happened to my hometown. Where a hill of trees used to be are now a ton of shops. Where another hill used to be is nothing but flat land, flattened for storefronts. Just tons of unnecessary changes to the area as there were already enough shops in the area.γγΏγγ¬
Oh rad, this type of thing sucks! Tbf in my case the highway and associated areas were very bare ane there wasn't much here, but it kind of lost its appeal honestly.spoiler
Not quite the same but I feel the same way about revisiting places I used to go when I was struggling with my depression/ spoiler spoiler Sh/ed :::
Very, :meow-hug: