this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
92 points (100.0% liked)

traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

910 readers
80 users here now

Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.

  1. Please follow the Hexbear Code of Conduct

  2. Selfies are not permitted for the personal safety of users.

  3. No personal identifying information may be posted or commented.

  4. Stay on topic (trans/gender stuff).

  5. Bring a trans friend!

  6. Any image post that gets 200 upvotes with "banner" or "rule 6" in the title becomes the new banner.

  7. Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.

  8. When made outside of NSFW tagged posts, comments about dysphoria/traumatic/transphobic material should be spoiler tagged.

  9. While this is mostly a meme community, we allow most trans related posts as we grow the trans community on the fediverse.

If you need your neopronouns added to the list, please contact the site admins.

Remember to report rulebreaking posts, don't assume someone else has already done it!

Matrix Group Chat:

Suggested Matrix Client: Cinny

https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat

WEBRINGS:

Transmasculine Pride Ring flag-trans-pride

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Sending good vibes to all of my trans comrades cat-trans

As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Is it normal to be genderfluid in the sense that you get extreme transfeminine dysphoria due to puberty, identify as a girl/woman from like 13 to 20 or so, get nonbinary with it and even a bit masculine for a couple years, and then basically have a mental switch one day a month after graduating college where you're back to being a woman and can't imagine androgyny let alone masculinity again? puzzled

[–] sneak100@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

my opinion is fuck what's normal

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

That's nice but I'm kind of having an identity crisis right now so I'd like a frame of reference

[–] sneak100@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The frame of identity is queerness. Your experience with gender is valid and you are valid no matter what the "normal" expectations for transfeminine people are.

If one day you figure out some reason for your exact feelings or journey, then that's great! But in the meantime we'll be here to love you for who you are and feel all those feelings with you, even if we don't have the exact terminology.

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Thank you, but I'm not concerned about validity as I agree that there's nothing wrong with shifting self-perception of gender. I'm specifically concerned with it manifesting as a complete disconnect rather than a transition.

I just want to know if it's a genderfluid thing or something more complicated.

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't think this something someone else is gonna be able to tell you. Talking about it is gonna help you figure it out for yourself though

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

Okay I'll think about it more

[–] sneak100@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm specifically concerned with it manifesting as a complete disconnect

Sorry, I'm not sure what you mean here. Disconnect from transfemininity?

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Nonono I'm a trans woman. I feel disconnected from the few years in college where I had a different gender identity.

[–] sneak100@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

Right, gotcha

I just want to know if it's a genderfluid thing or something more complicated

Sadly I don't have an answer for this, since I don't know much about the experiences of genderfluid people, but I would encourage you to seek those out and see if you can relate at all.

But I also wanted to add that the term "trans" covers such a broad range of experiences and that lots of other things affect your experience of being trans including your race, ethnicity, cultural background, class background, level of ability, etc. Part of the reason I'm trans personally is because the labels that were given to me don't make sense, so fuck the labels. Furthermore, my disability and class background (amongst other things I'm sure) makes me really not relate to the "normal" experience of trans women to the point where my ability to see myself as the specific category of "woman" is really impaired tbh, but I also don't have a very specific label for it, so I just use the most broad descriptor I can think of—non-binary.

We identify with the labels we apply to ourselves, because we recognise that us existing the way we are makes us have certain experiences as we move through the world. I like how Abigail Thorn put it—"a woman is a scam invented by men to get free labour"—women have certain common experiences when moving through a patriarchal world that, when shared, create a natural sense of comradery and shared identity, thereby creating the social category of "woman". So you can think of these identity labels as broad buckets that we put large numbers of people into, but it's just something we do to make it easier to talk about the vast range of experiences that is our life, and doesn't mean it's any kind of precise category with specific criteria you must meet to be included—it's actually very vibes based.

Transfeminine non-binary, which is how I would usually describe myself, is such a broad category that I feel like I am under no pressure have to explain or justify myself (to myself or anyone). The way I label myself might change in the future, but that doesn't mean that I "became" a different person, I mean maybe I did, but I think mostly I had just recognised more precisely how I stand in relation to the world. I like the label "queer" as well because that pretty much puts me in opposition to whatever is normal, which I find liberating because of the broadness of what that implies.

I guess it's a bit sad that you feel like your identity as a trans woman is making you disconnected from your own person, as if you are your label before even being yourself. I get where you're coming from in wanting to know how to describe yourself, since it would give you a clearer image of the reasons behind your experiences, but I want to encourage you by saying that it's ok to not know exactly what's going on. Gender is truly a fuck, and every person who proves that is beautiful.

[–] rayne@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

It could be you tried it for awhile and just didn't like it.

Identity is generally very fluid at that age. Gender or otherwise. People try new things and some stuff works and some stuff doesn't. That really goes for any age but especially when we are younger.

If you have a history of splitting or black and white thinking, it's possible that's what is happening. But when I split I tend to do it on a lot of things, not just one aspect of my life.

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

Black and white thinking, sure probably. Idk what splitting is.

[–] QueerCommie@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

Feelings are transient, do whatever feels right in a given time. Maybe a label would help you, idk.

[–] naom3@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

I had something kinda like that. I think for me it was that I had just gotten really good at repressing?