this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 35 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Oh shit, at long last a job opening I'm fucking qualified for!

  1. I'm chill. Whiskeys more my jam but I'll drink whatever.

  2. Fuckin love industrial.

  3. I'm so down to do crimes in Japan that ive already done quite a few

[–] MacNCheezus 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

In that case, what's a few more then?

[–] TseseJuer@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago
[–] Zink@programming.dev 1 points 6 months ago

I read #3 in Jeff Gerstmann’s voice.

[–] don@lemm.ee 30 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You son of a bitch, I’m in.

[–] MacNCheezus 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I wonder what prison food in Japan is like…

[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

cabbage tofu soup, rice, pickles, and kelp fish bone soup.

[–] MacNCheezus 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Honestly sounds better than American prison food. At least this sort of diet will keep you in somewhat decent health.

[–] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago (2 children)

One of the catering companies I worked for was in the running for a contract to provide food for 3 for-profit prisons. My boss showed me some of the menus he was working on for it and I nearly fell over laughing because he's doing stuff like "Pan seared salmon with farro and grilled vegetable salad." Apparently no one had told him the target food cost was 7 cents per meal.

[–] MacNCheezus 1 points 6 months ago

I’ve seen some pictures of inmates food online and the best way to describe is probably “looks like state-sponsored school lunches, except far worse”.

[–] Xephonian@retrolemmy.com 1 points 6 months ago

Those contracts are predetermined anyway. It's all part of the scam of for-profit prisons.

[–] HipsterTenZero@dormi.zone 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Okay, but only if I'm guaranteed 12 wacky substories a year and the undying friendship of a strangely business savvy chicken.

[–] Andonyx@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Just DON'T go to the tour office in Hawaii 😳

[–] stembolts@programming.dev 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I like drawings of flowers as well, I understand this is popular among Yakuza, and I have my own supply of JNCOs. That's it, I'm joining the Yakuza.

[–] frickineh@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Wait are JNCOs a part of it? I could be convinced if they are. They're so stupid looking but I loved mine.

[–] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

I was on the fence until now. JNCO's, old Tool, and crime? I'm back in my glory days.

[–] KoalaUnknown@lemmy.world 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Beer, deftones, and TOOL?

Where do I sign?

[–] boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Typical... They didn't list the pay

[–] MacNCheezus 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The pay is free tattoos for life and a place on Japan’s most wanted list.

[–] boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Throw in an annual pizza party and $5 Wal Mart gift card for Christmas and I WILL DIE FOR YOU

[–] MacNCheezus 2 points 6 months ago

You got a deal, friend. Here's your pizza.

[–] hungrythirstyhorny@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago

okay.. early nine inch nails..

lol

[–] x4740N@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

Dont they chop off fingers as a sign of dedication iirc

[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 18 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

I heard it was a way to show how sorry you were for fucking something up or dishonouring your family. You'd present your severed pinky to your boss as an appology. Apparently it's not done much anymore. I've played all the Yakuza games so I'm basically an expert.

[–] Schmuppes@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I recently watched a great documentary about the Yakuza (on Arte) and apparently that ritual is increasingly considered old-fashioned among the Yakuza, or what's left of them.

[–] Andonyx@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Yes, it took eighty years but they eventually realized making their Yakuza affiliation obvious to everyone could hinder some of the criming.

[–] edwardbear@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

how else would you show your dedication?

[–] variants@possumpat.io 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

How do you show you are more dedicated than fingers in case you want a raise?

[–] moody@lemmings.world 5 points 6 months ago

I've already given up my foreskin. Is that good enough?

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

I believe it's the first joint of one? Pinky finger.

[–] TheControlled@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

early Nine Inch Nails

Excuse me? The Yakuza got beef with the middle and late NIN eras? Get fucked! I'll kick your ass for such bullshit! Online! Only..! Online!

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 6 points 6 months ago

Hell yeah. Gimme a job looking at uncensored hentai 😎

[–] Gork@lemm.ee 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

What're the benefits and salary of this position?

Do I need to provide my own Samurai sword, or will one be provided by the Clan?

[–] MacNCheezus 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Just call the phone number provided on the flyer to find out…

Oh

[–] Gork@lemm.ee 3 points 6 months ago

It's one of those things where a guy knows a guy, and they'll contact you in a dark alley outside a Pachinko shop.

[–] Senseless@feddit.de 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

There are no contact details :(

[–] MacNCheezus 8 points 6 months ago

You just gotta find the guy in the picture and apply in person I guess.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

Welcome to the Fantasy Zone. Get ready.

[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Not familiar with Deftones. Any recommendations?

[–] CaptDust@sh.itjust.works 13 points 6 months ago

White pony album, front to back

[–] Seraph@kbin.social 7 points 6 months ago

Around the Fur album

[–] witty_username@feddit.nl 3 points 6 months ago

I think their most widely known song is 'my own summer'

[–] hungrythirstyhorny@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

koi no yokan? maybee

[–] STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

Bull fucking shit. As if they wouldn't also listen to Boris

[–] LifeOfChance@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

What kind of crimes? I'll steal a candy bar or Jay walk with yah. I'm usually pretty busy on days felonies are gonna be committed though. Any other day though I'll help you get that anpanman pero pero candy

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

I'm good for 1 and 2...

[–] FiniteBanjo 2 points 6 months ago

Damn, I'm only one of these things.

[–] TotallyNotSpez@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 1 points 6 months ago

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