this post was submitted on 24 May 2024
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Carlo Acutis, a teenage website developer, was attributed a second miracle by Pope Francis, advancing his path to becoming the first millennial saint.

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[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 163 points 5 months ago (5 children)

I don't care how unpopular this opinion is, but all religions are fucking stupid, and this is just another bullet point in the list of stupid shit zealots do to maintain control over the masses. Oh, you're losing your young people to atheism and science? Better give them a role model and make a fucking saint out of a junior web dev with a geocities site. Holy shit.

Actual holy shit.

[–] BruceTwarzen@kbin.social 47 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Religion is wild. When i tell people that i don't drink alcohol they think it's either for religious reason or because i'm a former alcoholic. When i tell them that i simply don't like it, i'm weird. Somehow it's less weird to not drink because of some pedo magic man from the past said i'm not allowed to.

[–] DdCno1@kbin.social 19 points 5 months ago

Just tell them you're not drinking alcohol for health reasons. Nobody will really disagree with you on this.

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[–] CaptnNMorgan@reddthat.com 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] riodoro1@lemmy.world 155 points 5 months ago (7 children)

Grown motherfuckers believe this bullshit.

[–] LesserAbe@lemmy.world 56 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Shit's embarrassing. Don't know how people can represent the church with a straight face.

Also: when you get cancer who has the idea to pray to some rando? God's busy, maybe this 15 year old ghost can get his attention for me.

[–] Thunderbird4@lemmy.world 22 points 5 months ago (1 children)

For that matter, isn’t it sacrilege to pray to some rando? These are pretty flimsy justifications for miracles even by Catholic standards.

[–] interrobang@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I have never understood why catholic iconography is fine to pray to, but other stuff = straight to hell.

While were on the topic of christian nonsense, why are adam and especially eve always portrayed with bellybuttons

[–] SqueakyBeaver@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I was raised Catholic and had the misfortune of going to a Catholic school, so I can give you the reasons they believe these things. To start off, I know nothing about eastern Orthodox Catholic beliefs

  1. Catholics believe you're not praying to the saint or whatever, but praying through them. What they hate is praying to stuff. (I know, confusing and makes little sense)
  2. Probably the answer would be "artist interpretation". One religion teacher (literally studied Catholic theology) I've also had said something along the lines of "Adam and Eve likely weren't really the first humans, they were just a representation of something" (sorry I couldn't be clearer, I never paid attention)
[–] Caligvla@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's interesting how catholicism is both monotheist and polytheist in a sense, there's only one god but you still pray to all those saints to act on God's behalf. There are so many "pagan" rites and beliefs that got somehow absorbed into the faith over time, it's truly an amalgam of old Indo-European religions.

Also to your second point, I'm pretty sure they meant that Genesis is poetical symbolism as opposed to a literal historical account, which seems to be what most denominations nowadays that aren't completely cuckoo crazy agree on, the Catholic church included.

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[–] PenisWenisGenius@lemmynsfw.com 30 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

That article almost read like a satire article. A teenager impressed some old people with a computer and now he's being made a saint. I too had computer skills in 2006 and also never get laid. What do I get for it?

[–] eatthecake@lemmy.world 25 points 5 months ago (1 children)

During his brief life, Acutis created a website cataloging each Eucharistic miracle in the world and listing approved Marian apparitions of the Catholic Church.

He made a list and they call him a computer genius. Not the Onion material.

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[–] Speculater@lemmy.world 25 points 5 months ago

Worse than that, they think you're the weirdo for not believing it.

[–] cultsuperstar@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago

Religion is a hell of a drug.

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[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 110 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Look, if my code compiles on the first try, I'd call that a miracle as well, but I ain't no saint.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 19 points 5 months ago

Just pray to Carlo Acutis everytime you compile

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[–] Mr_Wobble@lemmy.world 62 points 5 months ago (2 children)

And lo did St Carlo the Broccoli Headed droppeth his divine merch upon thy gyats, absent of any fanum tax, and the fam was filled with much rizz. Sicut erat in principio, et nunc, et semper, et in saecula skibidi. Amen.

[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 27 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You're using slang from the wrong generation, bae. That's so extra of you, but lowkey I still think you're lit so don't get salty with me or I'll be shook.

Let's get turnt!

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[–] interrobang@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 5 months ago

He haveth no concubines, for his rizz was only for the LORD.

[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 60 points 5 months ago (2 children)

If there's a developer deserving of sainthood it's Terry Davies of TempleOS fame. But I'm not sure if he counts as Catholic.

[–] Dasnap@lemmy.world 52 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I was about to say that he was a racist and homophobic, but then remembered that wouldn't be a problem. Hell, might even up his chances.

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[–] squid_slime@lemm.ee 10 points 5 months ago
[–] deerdelighted@lemmy.ml 54 points 5 months ago (7 children)

Wait so according to the article, someone prayed to him while in hospital and got healed? Is that all it takes to become a Saint? I wonder: if I ever get into a hospital I should pray to say Genghis Khan just to troll the Church.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 22 points 5 months ago (6 children)

Think about how weird that is for a minute. This guy wasn't a saint when people were praying to him. So do Catholics just go around praying to randos until 3 people pray to the same rando and then are like "aha! a saint!" ?

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[–] anton@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 5 months ago

It needs to happen twice. I would help you but I still poses the indestructibility of youth.

spoilerI think the person also needs to be Catholic.

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[–] Icalasari@fedia.io 39 points 5 months ago

Went with the Yahoo! link as they are guaranteed to not have some sort of paywall that pops out of nowhere. Also because the Insider used a video, so this is an actual word transcription

Also wut

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 29 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Jesus fucking Christ. Humans are weird.

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[–] dustyData@lemmy.world 28 points 5 months ago

All religions are jokes. But this shit right here…

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 28 points 5 months ago

The painting of Carlo is hilarious. I imagine it's solemn ceremony and the painting is Carlo wearing normal clothes.

It's going to be real disorienting looking at the portraits of Saints. It's going to start from ancient clothing to formal more contemporary clothing to a saint were a bright red jacket with a backpack on.

[–] eran_morad@lemmy.world 25 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

How the fuck can anyone take this shit seriously? Religion is a scourge on all of us, turning the feeble-minded into an instrument for the benefit of evil sociopaths.

[–] jpreston2005@lemmy.world 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The two "miracles"

Acutis was beatified by Pope Francis in October 2020 after a first miracle was attributed to him, involving a Brazilian boy born with a pancreatic defect who said he was healed after praying to Acutis.

According to Vatican News, the news portal of the Holy See, the second miracle involved a Costa Rican woman whose daughter had a bicycle accident and was given a low chance of survival by doctors.

Vatican News said the mother, Liliana, prayed at Acutis' tomb in Assisi, Italy, and claimed that her daughter recovered soon after.

[–] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 24 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I literally lol'd. A religious person can explain this to me but does the old testament not poo poo praying to anyone who is not God?

Fucking Catholics man. How many saints they up to? It's it ballooning again after the great purge a while back?

[–] whereisk@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I'm not religious but I'm interested in religion.

You are applying the Protestant framework (I can save myself) to Catholicism (only through the church can I be saved) hence why you invoke Bible as a final arbiter of what is and isn't allowed.

In the old churches (Catholic, Orthodox etc) "Canon" is a combination of early church fathers writings, tradition, the bible and pronunciations of the current head of the church. Furthermore in Catholicism the bible is largely treated as allegorical, not literal.

Now since you are definitionally a sinner, and since salvation can only be obtained through the intermediaries of God: the church, being part of the church mysteries (baptism, communion, prayer, confession etc) is far more important than following any specific part of the bible.

Praying to Saints is not considered a sin since you are under no misapprehension that you are praying to a god, or that they are anything more than humans that lived an exemplary life and are amongst God's favourite children. It's like asking the local lord for a favour - you are not confusing him with the king.

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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

He turns water into Mtn dew

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[–] Deceptichum@sh.itjust.works 19 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Huh, figured the pope would be too busy bashing trans people and protecting paedophiles.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago

Everybody needs a break sometimes.

[–] cjoll4@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Pope Francis abolished the rule of pontifical secrecy that had protected accused child abusers from criminal investigation and has a history of promoting acceptance and inclusion for trans and gay people within the Church.

I don't agree with organized religion in general, and the Roman Catholic Church is particularly problematic. But as far as popes go, I believe Francis is a good one.

[–] Deceptichum@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Vatican says sex reassignment surgery, surrogacy and gender theory threaten human 'dignity'

He gave Cardinal George Pell a special position working in the Vatican so he could flee my country and avoid prosecution.

Pope Francis is a shitcunt of the highest order.

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[–] schnapsman@feddit.de 17 points 5 months ago

He's unlocked recursive miracle attribution. That he was attributed 2 miracles is itself a third miracle. Some guy getting 3 miracles? That's another miracle..

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago

P A P A B L E S S

[–] mhague@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's a lot of work making stuff up just to have your spiritual alcohol.

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[–] superterran@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago

The patron saint of the internet. If you pray to him and touch one of his shirts you’ll be healed.

[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago

Should've been Terry Davis.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

It's honestly a little weird that more saints aren't literal children, given the predilections of Catholics and the fact that the world doesn't give a crap about said predilections.

[–] woelkchen@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The tech whizz, sometimes called 'God's influencer,' died of leukemia in 2006 at age 15.

So finding a cure for cancer is not one of his miracles.

[–] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 7 points 5 months ago

God works in mysterious ways 🌠 lol

[–] emmanuel_car@kbin.social 8 points 5 months ago

For anyone else who wondered how a teenage website dev could also be a millennial, in 2024, (and didn’t want to read the article) he died of lukemia in 2006 at age 15.

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