A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
My grandma called chocolate cream drops what they call Brazil nuts in the article. All of the family did (from Missouri). As a kid I was freaked out that anyone would name anything you ate after toes if any kind. Just gross.
But racists gotta be racist every chance they get.
I just tell myself they're all hiding a foot fetish under a thin patina of racism as it's more socially acceptable there to be racist than kinky.
Racism is actually the secret ingredient, doesn’t taste the same without it.
My neighbor was a old racist, but hid it under a "I'm just a widdle ol lady". And she loved to remind me and my brown skinned family that you used to be able to say like N*gger Cake and then go, "Oh my I hope I didn't offend "
It didn’t help that she always screamed the N-word whenever she said it
Does it taste like diabetes?
” I don’t even think this soup needed brazil nuts — they just added them to make it more racist.”
Lol
The Reillys were unavailable for further comment, as they were having their Grandfather’s signed copy of Mein Kampf appraised for insurance purposes.
Along with The Trump Bible, and their beanie babies, they're sure to be hundredaires.
It’s very generous of you to assume they aren’t being crushed by medical debt. ;)
One of the old knitting books I have asks for two yarn colours in a pattern: cream and n***er brown.
So I get the reference to Brazil nuts, but am drawing a blank on the other ingredients. Are there other foods that actually had horribly racist nicknames?
Jews, Italians, and Latinos were all represented with words I won’t repeat.
Like what foods were they referring to, or are they just being vague for the sake of humor, with Brazil nuts being the only one that actually existed with that type of nickname?
I'm realizing I don't even know the slurs associated with those races, never mind food referring to those slurs.
...I should really go thank my grandparents.
"Kaffir lime leaves" are generally being renamed as "makrut lime leaves" in the shops here in the UK. No problem with the rename, obvs, although it confused me a moment the last time I wanted to buy some. The thought that any of my grandparent's old recipes having any herb or spice more unusual than black pepper is more of laugh, tho.
So I had to Google that. If anyone else is curious, there's a Wikipedia article on the word.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaffir_%28racial_term%29?wprov=sfla1
I'm kind of morbidly curious what some other foods could be.
My grandma used to make Hot Dago sandwiches, basically a wet roast beef. I don't know what the Spanish had to do with it.
Best friend's grandad fucked with him no end. Sent his 9-yo ass down to the store to ask for "N-word toes". To ask the black grocer. Kid had no idea it was a bad word, kinda like Archie Bunker: "That's what we called dem nuts in dose days!"
Another time they were watching some barn cats. "Want those kitties to really love you? Give 'em a bath and they'll love you forever." You can imagine.
I have an old pyrotechnics manual from 1943 and it tells you how to make a particular firecracker called an "N-word chaser." Fun fact this doodad was also referenced in the book The Shining.
Reminds me of another recipe book, this one with (what is hopefully) an accidental typo: 5 Worst Typos of History - vlogbrothers
Number 5, the Pasta Bible. Hank, this is a totally normal book about pasta except that it contains a typo so horrific that the publisher found every copy it could, and destroyed them. There was a recipe for tagliatelle that called for salt and ground black... people. They meant pepper. They - they wrote people.
This stuff is wild, here in the nordics we call chocolate balls rolled in pearl sugar "N- balls" and of course a certain subset of people love to go "but you can't say that anymore".
yeah no shit einstein, it's a slur