this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2024
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chapotraphouse

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Tired of being beta

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[–] HarryLime@hexbear.net 19 points 5 months ago

Wolves are the alpha animals so be like the wolves

Do this with your homies:

[–] oscardejarjayes@hexbear.net 18 points 5 months ago

steps to be an alpha man*

step 1: sex with women is gay. stop doing that.
step 2: have sex with men
step 3: you are alpha now

*steps may differ with other genders

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 17 points 5 months ago

Take a bottle of Infowars 1776 Testosterone Boost everyday.

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] axont@hexbear.net 6 points 5 months ago

Addendum: If the beans don't make you fart then eat more beans until you're farting

[–] MiraculousMM@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago

Go around and tell anyone and everyone you see that you're alpha. Make it your entire personality

[–] Pentacat@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Get a truck, an old cap, and a pair of Oakleys. Get drunk and shoot a two hour video in the front seat, just you ranting into the camera.

[–] waluigiblunts@hexbear.net 6 points 5 months ago

technically you can get a DUI for being drunk behind the wheel (even if you're not actually moving), but that only adds to the alpha-ness

[–] Comp4@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago

Call the gym and hit a lawyer.

[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 10 points 5 months ago

To learn how to top, you must first master being a bottom.

That's what you meant, right?

[–] ElGosso@hexbear.net 10 points 5 months ago
[–] Owl@hexbear.net 9 points 5 months ago

reduce the amount of testing you do

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 8 points 5 months ago
  1. buy the latest Ford F350 Child Smashifier brand new for $78,000

  2. take out 3 loans to afford this

  3. drive on a 2 drink minimum

  4. call anyone who drives a different brand of truck gay even though you can't tell the difference unless you look at the hood ornament

  5. run over at least 3 children and/or bicyclists a month

  6. drive it into a resevoir and buy the next latest model when it comes out (you'll save money by doing this, it can carry 8 ounces more cargo in the 16 inch truck bed)

[–] WilsonWilson@hexbear.net 8 points 5 months ago

flip the script and become an omega

[–] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 8 points 5 months ago

YouTube has taught me that it has something to do with exclusively eating raw meat and organs, so maybe try that?

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 8 points 5 months ago

You have to apply for a membership upgrade.

[–] polskilumalo@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 5 months ago

contact your software developer you'd like to revert to an earlier build

[–] lemmyseizethemeans@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 5 months ago

Amazing how every reply in this thread is simultaneously correct

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 6 points 5 months ago

Leaded supplements and praying.

[–] lil_tank@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 5 months ago

Why go back to alpha? Move from beta to 1.0

[–] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 6 points 5 months ago

Train your flexibility until you can autofellate

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 6 points 5 months ago

lower your opacity

[–] GlueBear@hexbear.net 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] WashedAnus@hexbear.net 4 points 5 months ago

Why become an alpha when you can become shrigma shroomjak

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 4 points 5 months ago

~~Seinfeld~~

COSTANZA

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Buy my supplements alex-supplements

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 3 points 5 months ago

Have you tried ligma? Or grabon?