Finally told my therapist about my ✨ gender feelings ✨ overall it went pretty well, not as bad as I feared (nothing ever is). He wants me to try things to see how I like it (although it kinda sounded like he wanted me to try more masc things but whatever). He also was kinda weird about me being attracted to women, and said that most of his trans clients are straight or bi, which seems odd to me but he did say some trans fems like women and that's fine and all that. But anyway the rest of it was good, a bit hard to catch up on everything and properly impress upon someone how I'm feeling when how I'm feeling changes all the time.

He did say that he felt like I never liked/cared about myself which is painfully true. But yea, I guess we'll see. It was really hard explaining myself when I don't even know what my goals are >.<

Edit: I know telling them seems like something you should just be able to do but I'd been really struggling to tell anyone so this is kinda big for me :ohnoes:

Eu4 nations forming coalition after one italian povince is taken is so beautiful, everypne standing up against italianophobia.

I see 96 new comments. Did the trans towers get hit?

5 hours of sleep, whyyyy.

Anyways you did it! 500

500

Anyone have good tips on styling long straight hair? Like, pretty damn long, way down my back

I want it to be more fem (or something strongly androgynous maybe) but its still coming across pretty masc rn I feel. I go between having it down (can be a mess but androgynous I guess), having it in a lowish ponytail (pretty masc and I've seen so many mean comments about "sysadmin ponytails" and such that it makes me feel bad now), and a basic braid (I can do it myself but nothing that requires starting further up on the head or accurately dividing hair at the scalp) which is okay but ends up feeling kinda like a ponytail

I do need a haircut, so ideas there that don't involve losing a ton of the length would also be amazing. In the past the only haircuts I've really gotten were to cut it straight across my back so that at least all the split ends are cleaned up, which makes it a lot nicer, but not that different overall.

i saw the tv glow live rn

I am currently feeling two things. I am terrified to tell anyone being a man doesn't feel right and I wish I was a woman.

And also am I actually trans 🤔

How can these coexist.

For today's book review, I'm going to tell you about a graphic novel (serialized manga?) called "Until I Love Myself" by Poppy Pesuyama.

CW: mentions of SA

Pesuyama is an AFAB trans non-binary mangaka from Japan. "Until I Love Myself" is an autobiographical work that covers their life from childhood and the struggles they had with gender dysphoria and sexual assault.

Pesuyama describes their manga as essays. Formalisticaly, this means that the manga is primarily expository, dialogue is heavy, and the art (while cute) is fairly sparse and basic. Originally, I think I was put off by this approach, and I didn't find myself relating to Pesuyama's experiences like I have with previous queer literature. However, now that I have finished it and sat with my feelings for a while, I think that this manga is going to stay with me for a very long time, and I find that it resonates with me more by the hour. (Even more than Sara Soler's "Us" which I thought was literally me fr fr).

In the following section, I'm going to discuss the themes and poignant messages of the manga, but I won't include spoilers. The manga deals heavily with multiple instances of sexual assault; however, while I will mention it, I won't provide any details.

I want to end with a quote that Pesuyama ends their manga with by Yukio Mishima:

"I can no longer sit in silence watching other people's intoxicated joy. I can no longer be satisfied with the tragic resignation of being separate from it."

I don't know who posted about the comic "Us" a few days ago. I think it was @ashinadash@hexbear.net.

Anyway, thanks for making me aware of it. I finished it this morning. It's sooooo cute and sooooo good. Also my husband started reading it yesterday. There are a few panels that honestly could have been written by him, about him. Especially the whole part about wrestling with ones sexuality and eventually landing on demisexual.