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Here's my sister giving me some serious news about a family member.

Yea I found out from my server at a restaurant that my cousin killed himself. She was his friend. It had been months since it happened and no one told me that he passed, even though I saw my family recently. Fucked up.

My dad

"Well your grandmother is out of the hospital"

She was in the hospital???

“Son I’m going in for cancer surgery tomorrow. Everything will be fine… take care of your father, you know he’s basically useless on his own.”

Literally 2 days ago. Don’t worry, she’s fine.

It's because they post everything on Facebook and I don't go on Facebook.

My dad on 2 separate and unrelated occasions.

Him. Almost recovered from my surgery

Me. Wtf what surgery.

Him. I put it on Facebook

I found out my mother had HEART SURGERY two weeks ago when my sister sent a weird "she's out of the operating room and I recovery" message, I thought she meant her mother in law and was informing my parents on the family group text, since my parents know her a lot better than I do.

Nope. It was my own mother, and nobody told me about a surgery they all knew about 6 months in advance.

My Mother recently went on a trip. During fathers day I'm talking to my Grandma and she asks if I was told that my mom fell on the escalator and hurt her hip. Not bad, just sore. I say no and my grandma seems really surprised that I was not told this. Later that same day I'm talking to my mom and she asks if anyone told me that my grandma broke a rib last week. No, grandma never mentioned this! Apparently I can only get my family's health updates second hand.

I was studying abroad so I came home after a year found out my father had a stroke and no one told me.

My sister causally told me couple weeks back that my uncle died 6 months ago.

"The family has COVID"
"Oh, okay"
2 days later
Sister sends me a screenshot of a Facebook post in which my mother's in the hospital

My sister, didn't visit for a few years then told family she was going to visit for Christmas, okay. She arrives with unexpected company, her boyfriend, she says. Family never heard about him. 1 month later she visits and goes, oh yeah, "I am expecting in 5 months". 2 months later she goes, oh yeah "I got married last week".

She doesn't understand why dad was so upset...

My family communicated exclusively through a Facebook Messenger group chat and my sister keeps posting pictures of her daughter so all the important stuff goes way up in the history. I don't even have Facebook Messenger on my phone. I rarely if ever check the messages because I've removed Facebook from my life.

I came home one weekend while in college and my mom's car was gone, but there was an unfamilure minivan. When I got inside, did the normal pleasantries, and I asked about the minivan, my mom dropped:

Oh, I hit some black ice on the way to work last week and spun and got t-boned. I woke up to the paramedics shaking me from behind. They had to some in through the hatchback because the car was laying on the driver's door. Anyway, we're waiting for insurance before we start looking for another car and they gave me a rental in the mean time.

I had talked to her on the phone in between the accident and my visit and she hadn't mentioned it. She broke 2 ribs and had a hairline fractured of her foot - the other driver had a mild concussion. So all-in-all it could have been infinitely worse, but still.

Mom didn't tell me she got married and was pregnant while I was in college. I talked to her almost daily then...

My parents do this all the time. "Yeah, we just came back from the funeral, it was beautiful." So apparently my aunt died. "Oh yeah, we thought it wouldn't interest you".

At the same time, they call me to tell me "So, Henry had to go to the hospital, he's in a bad state. We though you'd want to know." So apparently someone from their neighborhood who I never met or heard of has some bad health.

Oh, everything's fine now, ...

I wish. Nope, nothing like my family.

... but two weeks ago she was murdered.

Nevermind, this checks out.

I found out my first cousin had a second child literally a year after she gave birth because everyone thought I was told by someone else.

BTW, this could be an intentional thing to try and convince you to move back to the local area.

There's that one famous Reddit story recently about someone who's family went as far as not telling her about a major funeral and then gaslighting her when she realized and didn't drop the issue.

Linda always brought those awful jello molds to family events, so maybe there’s a silver lining.