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submitted 3 days ago by Beetle_O_Rourke@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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[-] LGOrcStreetSamurai@hexbear.net 71 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I don't understand why people try to frame compliments in such a weird ass way. Just say "I like your hair, it's pretty 😁" that's it. BOOM! You have done it. You gave a normal regular compliment and probably made the other person feel good about how they look.

It's so weird people put needless (and most likely rude) qualifiers. Second option, just quietly appreciate the nuanced and unique beauty of another person, you don't need to say shit. You can just shut the fuck up. That's allowed.

[-] spacecadet@hexbear.net 39 points 3 days ago

It may not be conscious on the part of the white woman in this example, but this type of compliment is doubling as a way for her to give herself a healthy lib pat on the back compliment for being an ally or whatever

[-] LGOrcStreetSamurai@hexbear.net 29 points 3 days ago

God those people are the WORST! It's using an opportunity to be nice and decent to another person but you find a way to actually make it about yourself (the rhetorical yourself, not you you the commenter). I hate that shit, cause decency is sadly rare these days, and finding a way to present it to someone and then take it away is just vile and scummy.

[-] Teekeeus@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Going off a tangent but this arrogant self-centering and posturing is such a quintessentially westoid attitude

Will the west declining cure them of this poisonous chauvinism?

[-] hglman@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 days ago

When the food runs short thore quintessential wertoids lack ability to share with others will likely cause some curing to happen.

[-] axont@hexbear.net 32 points 3 days ago

Crackers attempting to say anything normal about black people challenge

[-] LGOrcStreetSamurai@hexbear.net 24 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

☠️💀☠ SUBURBAN NIGHTMARE HELLISH ELITE DIFFICULTY ☠️💀☠️

[-] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 25 points 3 days ago

I learned to do this while studying a second language. I had to rely on simple words and I've grown fond of them even in my mother tongue (USSR Russian).

[-] da_gay_pussy_eatah@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago

Counterpoint to option 2: complimenting people is actually cool and good, so long as you're normal. Caveat: if you're cis-het-male presenting, maybe it won't be as well received. But above all, just be normal.

[-] booty@hexbear.net 9 points 2 days ago

im a normal dude who gives compliments all the time. it literally is just as simple as be normal, in my experience. ive said "I love your hair!" to black women verbatim before (and also other women but just considering the context here), and they were like "thanks!" and we moved on with our lives.

[-] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 33 points 2 days ago

One of my friends who is a person of Indian heritage born in the West told me about how his KKKraker job interviewer once said "you speak great English" and without missing a beat he replied "thanks, so do you."

He got the job.

[-] BoxedFenders@hexbear.net 30 points 3 days ago

This white lady definitely took down the "In this house, we believe:" placard from her lawn when she got home.

[-] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 33 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

If you don't shut your cracker ass up I'll wear yours

[-] FungiDebord@hexbear.net 27 points 3 days ago

Imagine being in 2024 and still doing performative hair discourse.

[-] AndJusticeForAll@hexbear.net 36 points 3 days ago

I've been telling everyone their hair looks bad.

[-] sexywheat@hexbear.net 29 points 3 days ago

… what?

[-] axont@hexbear.net 52 points 3 days ago

It's common for black women to wear wigs to have long, straight hair even if their natural hair is very curly and poofy, like an afro. This is the result of western beauty standards imposing themselves on people who aren't white.

The black woman is complimented by a white woman for daring to defy western beauty standards to wear her natural hair. The black woman then responds that it must take confidence for the white woman to wear her natural hair as well. Basically saying, "I'm not wearing a wig, but you should be." It's a good clap back.

[-] LGOrcStreetSamurai@hexbear.net 22 points 3 days ago

The black woman is complimented by a white woman for daring to defy western beauty standards to wear her natural hair. The black woman then responds that it must take confidence for the white woman to wear her natural hair as well.

A great and straightforward explanation! 👍🏾

[-] sexywheat@hexbear.net 18 points 3 days ago

Oooooh I get it now thanks.

[-] Taster_Of_Treats@hexbear.net 13 points 2 days ago

Also it's not just wigs.. Hair relaxers can be very harsh chemicals that can burn your scalp. So it's a lot to ask somebody or require that they straighten it. But some schools and work places still do.

[-] sexywheat@hexbear.net 8 points 2 days ago

some schools and work places still do.

My gut reaction to that was "WTF that's bullshit no way they could force people to straighten their hair!?" and then I thought about it for 0.00005 seconds and was like "Yeah of course they would."