In the US, the singing of the national anthem and the military involvement always makes me uncomfortable, coming from a culture where that doesn't happen unless it's a really big event.
this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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I am a veteran (you're welcome for my service) and I also find this annoying/over the top.
I am shocked an appalled that you don't have any replies thanking you for your service.
However, I'm suspecting that you don't feel extremely offended by Kaepernick kneeling either?
There, with the sarcasm out of the way, how did the "thank you for your service"-thing start? I assume it was during the Bush Jr era, but was there a public statement of some sort suggesting everyone should do this? I'm also a "veteran"* (not US, though), and I would just be weirded out if it became a trend here.
*: Never deployed abroad. I was offered a contract, but turned it down due to a competing offer from the IT sector.
Veteran here sharing my personal experience. It seemed like people generally didn't give a shit about veterans except for maybe a few people that had some sort of relevant personal experience or values related to patriotism or sacrifice. Around 2009, it got politicized. After that, it was a competition to see who cared more about veterans and felt a bit odd and fake, kind of like how people are publicly obsessed with the US Constitution, yet have never read the whole thing. It's a theater in the never-ending war for political or moral validity. Around 2018, it started slowly waning off again, but not to the level it was before.
I don't see many of those "support our troops" ribbon stickers on the back of rusted out Suburbans and F150s like I used to.
I always thought what they really meant was "don't criticize the GOP's disastrous response to 9/11" so I guess that makes sense.
Do you remember how it got politicized? Did some politician start it, intentionally or not?
Also, obligatory: Thank you for your service.
It slowly started gaining some traction because of:
- Veterans returning from Afghanistan and Iraq were seen as those that placed themselves in harms way to protect the US from terrorism following 9/11. Until then, veterans were mostly seen as people that weren't smart or disciplined enough to go to college and needed to figure out something to do with their lives. Kind of like how Trump sees veterans.
- Those returning from Afghanistan and Iraq began going to college, organizing, and being more public about their service. Imagine fighting the Taliban, then coming home to go to college and they delay your payments by 3 months. These combat vets were too head strong to tolerate that and would make a big deal about it.
- The overtly injured would be hard to ignore. Imagine a 25 year old missing their legs on a wheelchair at Golden Corral, yet they're the most polite one there.
- The GI Bill was reliable, so schools that were able to attract veterans saw significant increase in their revenue. Schools competed for this by creating policies and programs that were supportive of veterans.
- Family members of the severely injured became strong advocates.
- McCain ran for President in 2008, and his time as a POW was used as evidence of his patriotic values and endurance.
- Veterans publicly socialized in tight-knit groups. Think of the ~5 really loud dudes at the bar that seemed to have an extraordinary bond, peculiar sense of humor, and confidence. People wanted to emulate this.
- Veterans would wear military clothes/items to identify themselves to other vets for camaraderie and a warning to potential threats. American bros started imitating returning combat vets as a prototype of masculinity, specifically attire and ironically beards^1^.
- Veterans with considerable training and experience would go to major protests and either do a better job than police or intimidate them. Veterans at protests would be injured by police, making them a good example of hypocrisy that the news would report on. You'd see something like, "Veteran that protected Iraqis right to protest sent to hospital by Oakland police."
- Veterans became the group with the highest suicide rates in the country...by a lot.
- The Arizona VA Medical Center scandal outed that veterans were dying from lack of access to healthcare that was purposefully hidden by administration. Veterans had long been complaining about terrible healthcare services, but were brushed off or made to seem too privileged and ungrateful^2^. When this scandal broke out, it was major validation for the vets and shame for the public and government. Politicians and citizens that wanted to avoid the shame would pretend to be veteran advocates and accuse others of the problem.
- When the government and public tried correcting this for the recent vets, all the Vietnam vets that had been ignored and marginalized started coming out too.
- The baby boomers that spit on Vietnam vets and called them baby killers had to rid themselves of their shame, so many of them became super veteran supporters. As my one military buddy put it, "They were competing for American of the Year."
- The country had a reckoning with how they had treated all veterans until this period. Basically, the country felt it had to make up for it.
- People that want to ride veterans' coat tails without the risk and effort advocate for veterans to get some of the esteem.
\
1: Fun fact! The beard thing was a rebellion to having to be clean shaven every single day for ~4 years straight. It was also a way of hiding that someone was in the military.
2: I've worked in the VA. It is pretty common to hear medical providers say something like, "I wish I didn't have to work for the rest of my life," when referring to veterans asking for help applying for disability.
Edit:
Also, obligatory: Thank you for your service.
Obligatory: discomfort
Thanks for the write up! I’m Canadian with family members in the military and the vibes different and I never really knew why. Your post helps put it into perspective.
Thank you for your ~~service~~ well written response, it was really informative. I was really young when most of this shift began so most of my conscious life I've seen people throw themselves at veteran's feet (unless they're homeless of course.. then ew) and didn't know it was a relatively recent thing.
Any secular group activity where someone thinks they need to "lead us together in prayer". Dude, this is a Wendy's.
Whenever someone from HR says "We're going to play a game to introduce ourselves" I begin screaming internally. I'm not going to sing about my job, Kaitlynn!
If you have to sing, you can make their ears regret it.
When asked to tell people a little about yourself, it is an opportunity to tell them something outlandish and fun.
I like to collect fortune cookie fortunes and I am weaving them into a Coat of Fortune that will bring good luck in times of need.
I have sneezed exactly 14,372 times since I was born. Counting sneezes is a family tradition that goes back generations and I hope to pass on the tradition to my children someday.
I have seen all 180 episodes of Golden Girls over 150 times. Before anyone asks, Sophia is my favorite. (Turn to someone) I have the actual bag. (Cheery smile with eyebrows raised)
I know the muffin man.(Hope to God someone confirms which muffin man by way of the street and then you can confirm or bauk at that "swindling hack" and tell them a different street.)
I can eat $4.25 in quarters before feeling too ill and jingly to continue.
That last one is a belter!
I have a lot of better things to say, but HR will get involved and some of them may mean going downtown for a conversation with C students.
My name is Kevin, that is my name, they call me Kevin, cause that’s my name.
I occasionally teach some training classes for my organization and one of my favorite things is to say that we’re going to play one of those ice breaker games, wait a beat, then say that we’re actually not going to do that because I hate them. Usually gets people to relax and open up a bit
Playing the Star Spangled Banner before every damned sporting event.
Remembering everyone went for the toilet paper during the COVID crisis still makes me cringe.
Yeah imagine if there was a real food shortage lol. People would eat each other
I think the worst is forced companionship, like getting together with a family for birthdays and stuff. The meaningless chit-chat... The being nice even though you know there are some that can't stand each other. Once you've had some unforced editions of these, like with friends or just people you get along with easily, it becomes blatantly obvious how uncomfortable it gets when it's forced.
I find human ceremony so strange @ times. I’m glad texting is an option now, but even then it’s like, eh 🤷🏼♀️
I don't want to celebrate my birthday, ever. I have 0 friends and my family caring about it makes even sadder, since I'm still living with my mother it can't be helped but that isn't going to change so I dunno what to do
Lots; my anxiety does like to constantly bring up things I did (or could have done) when I was younger and remind me of all of my mistakes.
As an aside, if seeing people having fun in a way that doesn't hurt anyone causes negative feelings in you, I think that's something you need to question yourself about.
Gender reveal parties.
Americans chanting “USA! USA! USA!” At the Olympics
Most woke and anti-woke stuff. Like watching two toddlers go at each other around the toy bin, both screaming, "They started it!" The hate festering stronger, the division wider, the battered doll—of the 2010s' equality surge—propped up and still taking a beating until it's unrecognisable from the bright new toy it once appeared to be.
It cements my position on human nature. Nice things cannot be achieved because of an ever-lingering darkness that insists it is the light. MLK saw it. No one respects each other. Those that are meant to help are often the ones that hurt others and themselves the most.
Edit: Grammar. I had just woken up. Yeah, lovely way to start the day.
Eating in a grocery store. 😬
My wife loves opening a drink while she shops and I know everyone knows we are going to pay for it, but oh man it makes me uncomfortable.
Basically the whole Jerry Seinfeld routine about saying Hi to people at the office, then having to do the "hello nod" to them all the rest of the day whenever you see them.
Sitting around politely listening to someone poorly play music or worse, poorly sing. This has happened very rarely to me,and the bad guitar was embarrassing but the other instances, the singing, where we all were trying and failing not to wince at every high note and marveled at exactly how long a 3 and a half minute song could really be while this poor wretch clearly had no idea what he sounded like...god that was an awful experience that goosebumps are reminding me of even now.
Ooo, being sung at is also on my cringe list. The Barbie movie captured it pretty well.
I cringe at the narcissism of thinking others are "normies" or whatever. The type of reddit "sportsball", "I hate small talk", "dark humor", "r/raisedbynarcissists", etc. And many more things. A lot of it feels like it's just people thinking they know better than others(yes I see the irony).
Unrelated answer I get uncomfortable eating in restaurants.
Car shows are pretty cringe. Anyone who's been to one knows what I mean.
Any time I read a story about people responding to a controversy by spending a lot of money at a particular company or donating to a political party.
It's because on my Mastodon feed I see post after post after post of people needing mutual aid, and I wish people cared more about that than spending their money on self-righteous capitalism.
Talking to my wife about meal planning.
But why? Poor hygiene, people being immature, why?
Anytime two people who don't know each other are forced to wait in a shared waiting area.
One person feels the NEED to talk about SOMETHING. So it's always the weather. ALWAYS the weather. Is there a more boring and irrelevant topic in all of humanity???
"Oh, think it'll rain Tuesday?"
"I don't give a shit."
But somehow I'M the asshole. All I wanted to do was scroll my phone, and wait for my appointment in silence. I'm not even a fan of this mundane music we're forced to listen to. If I want music, I'll wear my headphones. And if you want music, YOU wear YOUR headphones.
But don't bother me with the weather just because you feel a compulsive need to fill the silence. I like the silence.
Just don't look at them and say, "Indeed, there does appear to be weather outside, happening right now."
It is outside out today. I am expecting it to be quite outside out for the foreseeable future.