this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2024
307 points (97.5% liked)

Greentext

4397 readers
1210 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 45 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Tarball@lemmy.world 86 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Hit her with the facts - the Chinese invented fake orange juice in the Tang dynasty and so that’s your fave.

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 43 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Not bad, but the Song dynasty invented the musical speech. That's something

[–] Zozano@lemy.lol 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Get a load of this guy. Thinks the Wing dynasty who invented fried chicken wasn't the best.

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

All chumps. The Ping dynasty invented the internet.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 months ago

Well, you were all using jokes from the Zing dynasty, so that is the clear winner

[–] peetabix@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Don't forget the Bong dynasty where everyone was high as fuck.

[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Bong dynasty invented the gravity bong for cultural reasons

[–] erusuoyera@sh.itjust.works 71 points 3 months ago (2 children)

She's not disappointed with the answer, she's disappointed anon didn't ask her back.

[–] deafboy@lemmy.world 60 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I fail this every single time. I always assume if somebody had something to say, they would've just said it. I mean, we're already having a conversation about certain topic. Why wait for me to ask?

[–] sploosh@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Because it is more fun and engaging to be asked.

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 6 points 3 months ago

Why would you want to know what a woman thinks?

[–] MagicShel@programming.dev 58 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ming dynasty was the worst. She was clearly into the Gordon era.

[–] Zozano@lemy.lol 18 points 3 months ago

FLASH

aaAAAHh

[–] morphballganon@lemmy.world 49 points 3 months ago

As long as you can back up your choice with a reason...

You won't impress someone simply by choosing their favorite and being unable to say why.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 40 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Qing, because they were so bad at it they ended the Chinese Empire entirely, and that's awesome.

[–] Shard@lemmy.world 46 points 3 months ago (1 children)

But because of that we now have this whole bs timeline of chairman mao, then winnie the pooh, then lemmy.ml

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 11 points 3 months ago

Mao wishes he could have killed as many people with incompetence as the Qing. Rookie ass motherfucker.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 37 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

Shit, this just reminded me of one of my favorite text posts and I can’t locate it because search engines are a wasteland of paid results and spam. any chance someone has it? Description below

The story’s narrator is walking along when they bump into a stranger. The stranger immediately begins yelling about how [linux distro] is subpar for its intended use case and the narrator calmly replies that the distro excels in specific ways. However, the stranger isn’t having any of it. The story ends without resolution, with the narrator looking for solace in others’ opinions.

[–] SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml 32 points 3 months ago (1 children)

search engines are a wasteland of paid results and spam

Last night I spent 45mins searching for something that I had found in the top 3 results 8 months ago. It was buried on the 3rd page. None of the other results had anything to do with what I was actually searching for.

[–] LMNjuice@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Try typing before:2024 at the start of the search term, it should filter things from 2024 our, and you might find it. Works the same with any other year

[–] SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 months ago

Hmmmmm nice one! Thanks for that!

[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

I feel like I've read that before, but it wasn't about linux. Must be a copypasta at this point

[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I just stumbled across one. Hopefully having the actual wording will help you pin down the specific variation that you're looking for

https://mander.xyz/post/16448452

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I searched for a bit, hoping for a knowyourmeme page or some such. No dice, but there were several related copypastas to fill the hole. Thank you!

[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 37 points 3 months ago

maybe she was checking if you were into Wu Tang.. China's only female ruler: Empress Wu of the Tang dynasty reigned for 20 years.

[–] Daxtron2@startrek.website 27 points 3 months ago

Anon plays the OP countries in EU4 which is why she's upset

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 25 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Most likely because it is the one every one knows.

Got to hit her with the more obscure ones, that shows you know history.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

Most likely because it is the one every one knows.

Its the one that the expensive vases are most commonly associated with. But that was also something of an apex of art and culture, so its a natural choice.

You're not picking the Qing Dynasty, on account of the "Century of Humiliation" ending in Japanese collaboration and a dismal final period. The Liao, Tang, and Song are the only recent dynasties of appreciable length. Get much further behind that and its barely China anymore, just coalitions of city states and warring tribes. The Romance of the Three Kingdoms Era is cool, but not what I'd call "Peak China".

Ming is as good a pick as any of them.

Got to hit her with the more obscure ones

Oh hi, yes. I'm a big fan of the Later Han Period, which lasted a whooping four years. Also, my favorite President is Gerald Ford.

If you want to go edge lord, just say you're a huge fan of the Taiping Rebellion. She'll hate you forever, but she might respect you a bit more.

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

But I like the Qing specifically because I like studying empires when they decline and "end".

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

It's a rollercoaster ride. But sort of like saying "I'm fascinated by WW2-era Europe". Raises some red flags.

[–] medgremlin@midwest.social 5 points 3 months ago

I mean, I'm partial to the Tang dynasty in part due to Wu Zeitan. Her history and time as empress are absolutely fascinating and the relative prosperity of her reign is really impressive.

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

oh you like the ming dynasty? name all their wars.

[–] bricklove@midwest.social 24 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I the like the Han dynasty because it was run by a sole smuggler

[–] LordGimp@lemm.ee 9 points 3 months ago

Like the fish or some sort of shoe racket?

[–] visc@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

I think autocorrect broke your joke.

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It meant you prefer war and conquest over peace, prosperity, and stability. The correct answer was the Song Dynasty.

Source: I have never studied Chinese history and made this up, so just take my word for it.

[–] Zozano@lemy.lol 5 points 3 months ago

I'm glad my attention fatigued brain spared another few seconds to read the second half.

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 10 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

The correct answer is "Qin. Love playing him in Civ 6". You could say Ming but she has to know that they added Yongle as DLC

[–] alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml 10 points 3 months ago

If you preface your reasoning with the accessibility of the history, Qing? Just gotta make sure you don't come across as a rvturn to footbinding weirdo like Shen Yun.

[–] Breve@pawb.social 6 points 3 months ago

I've just had this Chinese dynasty, it is fucking minging! Suck your dad!

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

He is not very good at MINGling.

[–] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 5 points 3 months ago

XIA DYNASTY

[–] Fleur__@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

You gotta keep the ball rolling annon!

[–] VitabytesDev@feddit.nl 3 points 3 months ago

I read that as cheese dynasty and I got so confused.