Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
One that comes to mind for me: "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is not always true. Maybe even only half the time! Are there any phrases you tend to hear and shake your head at?
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results."
This is literally not the definition of insanity.
"This too shall pass" when faced with a hurdle but a "savor this moment" when something is supposedly good. If only life worked that way, you wouldn't ever be complaining.
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results," It's like nails on a chalkboard every time I hear it. There is a very limited context where it may be applicable, but mostly it's used to give up trying or mock someone for failing a task. Have you never gotten better at something over time? Learned an instrument? Played a hard video game? Learned to ride a bike? It stops problem solving dead and kills motivation making it less than useless. Oh and its misattributed to Einstein like every other shitty quote
"everything has pros and cons"
I usually give the CGP Grey's legendary answer: "...but it's hardly ever the case that all the pros and all the cons all PERFECTLY balance each other out, right?"
"Can't teach an old dog new tricks" is one that's very pertinent to my life right now.
So, I was a pretty dedicated musician in my younger years, but I've never quite gotten around to learning how to produce music digitally. Recently, I've been trying to learn. Thing is, since I'm in my early 30s, I'm only just now hitting that age where my neuroplasticity isn't what it was when I was 20, and learning things is starting to become noticeably a little more difficult.
So, that's where I think the expression comes from. You get older, you try to learn something new, you underestimate how much more difficult learning that new thing is at your current age (because, honestly, you have no way to gauge how hard it'll be until you're doing it), the challenge gets the better of you, and now you have to admit defeat.
"Can't teach an old dog new tricks" is basically a different way of saying "No, no! I'm not owned!! I didn't lose!!!" It's a way of shielding oneself from the sting of defeat by framing it as "well, that's just the way things are when you're older." It's not that you couldn't rise up to the challenge of learning. You just cannot teach old dogs new tricks, and that's a fact. Don't you hear people say that all the time? Why would people say it so much if it weren't true? So, yeah. I didn't lose. I'm not owned.
It's an especially harsh process when you're learning to do something related to something you already know really well, and struggling with it, like I am with music production. It makes you question how well you really knew that thing in the first place. But, like I said, I'm only in my early 30s. If I were 60 and struggling to learn a new way to do something I've been doing my whole life, I'm sure it'd be wayyy more demoralizing. I'm sure I'd want to guard my feelings from that.
So, I get why the expression exists. I just don't think it holds any real weight. People treat it like it's some fact of life, but it's just an excuse. You've just gotta keep pushing, be prepared to accept failure when it rears its ugly head, and then muster the energy to get back up and get back on as many times as you can before you're beat. Easier said than done, though.
"to be honest"
So, you've been dishonest until this point?
That's why I prefer "to be frank" or "to be blunt." Same implication but without that possibility.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”
"At least, not immediately visibly. But over time and with enough repetition and obsession they will carve canyons through my personality and emotional wellbeing. These canyons will be filled with emotional sticks and stones; huge, warped phantoms of the words they represent."
Take care with your words y'all. But also, who cares what they think!
Any phrase that begins with "no offense but". Just say it, don't add that phrase, it makes any statement look more offensive.
"If you can't take me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
"Idle hands make the devils workshop."
"If you can't take me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
I always take that as “l am a garbage person who will abuse you.” It is a MASSIVE red flag.
"Good vibes only".
I don't agree with it because if your life is trying to be only good things, all the time, then that means you don't know what bad times are. It means everything in your life is artificial and you have no perspective on the world around you.
It's not human to expect only to feel good all the time. It tells me there's a drug induced artificial happyness that's probably a bigger problem then just having a rough day.
We still experience bad times. But the point is not to be a dick
When people try to give bad news to someone and say, "there's nowhere to go but up" as if they know that person has reached rock bottom.... That has never been true in my life. So many times have I seen things get shittier and shittier for people. Fuck that stupid cheer up bs.
Fake it til you make it
Agloe, NY, was a fake town designed as a copyright trap on a map, but then a general store was built on that spot. When a company was caught stealing the map, they used the general store as proof the town actually existed.
In Iceland in 2010, a group of comedians made a joke political party called the Best Party, with a platform that amateurs can't mess up more than the pros. They won the mayoral election.
There's a youtube video about how to pretend you know how to play guitar, which suggests you learn just four chords and cycle between them. The comments noted that this is just a beginners guide to actually knowing how to play guitar.
George Lazenby lied on his CV when he auditioned for James Bond. When he confessed this to the director, the director pointed out how he had already convinced an audience with his performance. By acting like an actor, he had shown his ability to act.
The line between pretending and doing is thin, and you learn by doing, so you can learn by pretending to do. If it's a good enough fake, it may as well be real.
“Whatever is worth doing, is worth doing well.”
Most things I do, most of what we all do, we do *well enough *. Ain’t nobody got time for doing every bloody thing to perfection.
“Happy Friday!”
You can fuck right off with your happy Friday. Office people, sheesh.
"Boys will be boys" Oh yes, what deep insight, nicely expresses the lack of parenting that let little Billy here become a FUCKING BULLY that regularly kicks, punches and intimidates other children. Even worse when adults agree that "shitty and violent" is just how boys are, you know boys will be boys.
Well done being a role model guys, not only does that excuse the bully, it openly communicates to the victim that 1) he's allowed to be like that, 2) they should be bullies too and 3) nobody has any intention of actually helping them and changing the situation.
And then you make them shake hands afterwards and both have to apologize, the bully and his victim.
GRRRRRRRRR makes me so angry! Complete abdication of your responsibility to actually parent your little monster.
"Can't be helped."
Your attitude is why things don't change.
"I'm really great at reading people/spotting BS/etc." It seems like almost invariably this is said by people who are quick to make assumptions about people and as a result, are terrible at figuring out what someone is actually thinking.
