this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2024
827 points (98.5% liked)

Atheist Memes

5452 readers
19 users here now

About

A community for the most based memes from atheists, agnostics, antitheists, and skeptics.

Rules

  1. No Pro-Religious or Anti-Atheist Content.

  2. No Unrelated Content. All posts must be memes related to the topic of atheism and/or religion.

  3. No bigotry.

  4. Attack ideas not people.

  5. Spammers and trolls will be instantly banned no exceptions.

  6. No False Reporting

  7. NSFW posts must be marked as such.

Resources

International Suicide Hotlines

Recovering From Religion

Happy Whole Way

Non Religious Organizations

Freedom From Religion Foundation

Atheist Republic

Atheists for Liberty

American Atheists

Ex-theist Communities

!exchristian@lemmy.one

!exmormon@lemmy.world

!exmuslim@lemmy.world

Other Similar Communities

!religiouscringe@midwest.social

!priest_arrested@lemmy.world

!atheism@lemmy.world

!atheism@lemmy.ml

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

top 35 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz 122 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Long ago, way back in highschool, I worked at a restaurant part time. We would get a few of those fake bills every weekend and every Monday on my way to school I would take a small detour to the church who was passing them out and dumped them in their donations bin. I doubt it made any difference but it made me feel better at least.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 44 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Should attend a service and make change for them in the collection plate.

[–] August27th@lemmy.ca 21 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

attend a service

Then they won, didn't they.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 26 points 3 weeks ago

Not if you're disruptive enough.

[–] hydrospanner@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

Not if you drop off $100 in these fake things and then pull a real hundo from the plate.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 32 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I always wanted to print a few up with some overtly witchy messages on them. They have this "satanic church" bogeyman, out here casting spells and eating children or whatever, that I really wanted to exploit just to fuck with the churches that do that.

But I have neither the time or energy to dedicate to these fools.

[–] WhatYouNeed@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

A friend had an awesome tee shirt with a picture of Jesus masturbating while looking up, printed on it.

Print out something like that and put it into their collection plate.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

"Jesus is coming"

[–] athairmor@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

That’s about as close to superhero level deeds as we’ll get in real life so “thank you!”

I knew a guy in college who, in high school, would occasionally go around with his friends at night with and a chainsaw and cut down billboards. Similar but more illegal kind of stuff.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 6 points 3 weeks ago

"you reap what you sow"

[–] YurkshireLad@lemmy.ca 73 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

People that leave church on a Sunday morning and then immediately turn into idiots on the road.

[–] akilou@sh.itjust.works 66 points 3 weeks ago

I reject the premise that they're not also idiots while they're still in church

[–] DavidP@midwest.social 41 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

At my wife's church people honk at each each other trying to get out of the parking lot. Brotherly love lasts about one minute after leaving the building.

Brotherly love didn't even last in my parents church while inside the building. They convinced a pastor to move his family across the country, and then when ONE PERSON got offended by a difference in interpretation, they managed to strong arm their church leaders into firing the pastor.

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 3 weeks ago

I have quite literally never seen more random generic SUV's intermittently blowing stop signs, doing 20 under on the parkway, weaving all over lanes and generally being completely incompetent drivers than at 11:15am on a Sunday.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago

Sunday customers are always the worst. I always said it was because they used all their fake friendliness up in the morning.

[–] prof_wafflez@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

turn into idiots on the road

are idiots and self-righteous assholes

FTFY

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 68 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If they're good enough for tips, they're good enough for the collection plate.

[–] nichtburningturtle@feddit.org 30 points 3 weeks ago

They're perfect for the collection plate.

[–] DaCrazyJamez@sh.itjust.works 23 points 3 weeks ago

Having worked in several restaurants, the sunday after church crowd were DEFINATIVELY the worst custoners we would have all week.

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I worked at a place where tips are very uncommon. A lady gave me one of those fake $20's once in a little envelope and I was fucking stoked. Put it in my pocket til break time n went to grab some lunch compliments of the nice customer. Go to pay, open the envelope and pull out this bullshit Jesus ad. I almost blew a gasket. I splurged on a nicer lunch that was outside of my budget thinking hey, it's free. Why not? I was never nice to that lady again.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Couldn't we create some coins that say something along the lines of "Religious greed is still greed" or "Don't use this to pay altar boys for sex".

And then slip it in there when giving out change.

[–] Magister@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You can meet all of them at the local Golden Corral, Sunday at noon.

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My grandma's spot with all the little old ladies was a McDonald's almost half an hour away from the church. They'd all migrate there, show up at wildly different times, order a single drip coffee each, and take up several tables for hours. They mostly talked about who was the latest to die in the group. It was wild

[–] smokebuddy 3 points 3 weeks ago

McDonalds had free coffee refills for seniors for a really long time, not sure if they still do (they got rid of the 1 free refill for everyone else a long time ago), would have been the place to be

[–] ccunning@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

“The power of Christ compels you!”

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago

Close. The followers of Christ repulse me.

[–] Suavevillain@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

I wouldn't wish that crowd on anyone.

[–] kronarbob@lemmy.world -2 points 3 weeks ago

Well, if the restaurant is opened when church ends, it means the workers in it didn't go to church.

In the name of who would you be kind to someone that doesn't go to church ? God ? Oh, wait...

[–] Jagothaciv@kbin.earth -4 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Who goes to church on a Monday?

[–] catsarebadpeople@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You heard it here. You're only allowed to post memes that say "church" in them on Sundays. No other days allowed

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago

Or else what?

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 8 points 3 weeks ago
[–] Coreidan@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Dumb asses. You know, like the ones going on Sunday too.