this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
563 points (99.6% liked)

Programmer Humor

37656 readers
339 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 41 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Changing stuff and seeing what happens. If you change two things the universe will let the problem be fixed, because that leaves you uncertain which thing fixed the problem.

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 20 points 11 months ago

The ol Heisenburg’s Uncertainty fix

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 29 points 11 months ago
[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The guy who wrote this is gone

I've gotten about 1,000 alert emails in the last 8 hours because of this

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 28 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

The trick is to be the guy who is gone

[–] pdxfed@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

Guys who are here hate this one trick!

[–] robolemmy@lemmy.world 20 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I retired about a year ago, so the left-most book on the middle row is about me.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

congrats wisened/enrichend early retirement one.

[–] perishthethought@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That one is my aspiration too. Is retirement as great as it seems?

[–] robolemmy@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

I’m enjoying it a lot so far. I haven’t missed working at all.

[–] fruitycoder@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I have a mention in forward with a note being "the only documention left was a series of desperate sounding emails that the documentation was still on the now quarenteened work computers and something about a README"

THIS HAS HAPPENED TWICE TO ME, like I appreciate my bosses and PMs being chill and not wanting to overwork me on my way out but seriously guys I needed to hand this off to someone and put it somewhere. shrug

[–] robolemmy@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

I asked people to take handover for a full month before I left and nobody cared. On my last day they kept asking if they could call me with questions. I said only if they had their credit cards ready because I wasn’t going to work for free.

[–] fruitycoder@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago

100% like can you message me? Sure. Will I help or hell respond? Probally not tbh. Work, chores, and hobbies keep me busy enough.

[–] desktop_user@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 11 months ago

blaming the user, it's not necessarily their fault, but gaslighting worked for Apple so why can't it work for me.

[–] funbreaker@lemmy.zip 12 points 11 months ago

I'm going through Rustlings so Trying Stuff Until it Works

[–] sheepishly@fedia.io 11 points 11 months ago

Forgetting how your own code works over here

[–] hiroyt@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 5 points 11 months ago

Ain't nothing wrong with that.

[–] Bougie_Birdie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I'm definitely writing useless git commit messages

For work, I at least include the Jira ticket id

For personal stuff, it's sweeping features stuffed into one commit that barely describes what was changed

[–] gnutrino@programming.dev 15 points 11 months ago

"Fixed stuff"
...
"Fixed for real this time"

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

What was the git flag to basically rewrite history again?

I've definitely been guilty of this, but if I can redo my changes in narrative form before I push I bet I won't have to.

[–] gnutrino@programming.dev 3 points 11 months ago

git rebase -i

[–] blaue_Fledermaus@mstdn.io 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Forcing myself to write in the format of Conventional Commits has helped me a lot to write better commit messages.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] frezik@midwest.social 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Nobody going to admit to being the pigeon? Because that's me.

[–] Entropywins@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

I'm sorta like the pigeon but more just a vague understanding of the last critical thing that was asked of me.

[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 9 points 11 months ago

It's probably going to be a kitten sort of day; I'm stress testing and trying to address the pain points (which so far is mostly on all the other services outside my code that can't keep up; not a bad place to be).

[–] simonced@lemmy.one 7 points 11 months ago

Mine is not in the list.
"Click here and there, because no documentation..."

[–] abraham_linksys@sh.itjust.works 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I just picked up the latest version of "Copying and Pasting". This edition discusses copying and pasting from various AIs. Looking forward to digging in

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Glad to see they keep it up to date.

[–] anarchrist@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 11 months ago

Customer facing, so I think I wrote the one with the cat..

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Blaming the user. Always

^I'm^ ^the^ ^user^

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] christian@lemmy.ml 5 points 11 months ago

Frog, dog, and kitten, over and over and over in completely arbitrary orderings.

[–] gerryflap@feddit.nl 5 points 11 months ago

The "Forgetting How Your Own Code Works" is real. I've looked at code, thought to myself "what fcking idiot wrote this garbage", only to see my own name next to it. It's a very humbling experience

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

It's a weekday, but I'm not a pro, so either llama or hamster. Maybe sloth, we'll see where today's project goes.

Does anybody know if there's a standard method to do a 1-way broadcast from mobile wifi hardware? (Or Auracast, it looks like the same thing) It's for a sort of mesh network where links may change very rapidly, and so a handshake doesn't make sense.

[–] drew_belloc@programming.dev 4 points 11 months ago

All the purple ones

[–] SlippiHUD@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

2, 3, 6, 7, 8, and 9 are my usuals.

[–] Samsy@lemmy.ml 4 points 11 months ago

Changing stuff and seeing what happens!

The best part is remembering every change to revert it after XY change does it right.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

I'm going for the Dr. Venkman combo: "Dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!"

[–] Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago
[–] tomkatt@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

I spend a bunch of time in log reviews in my current role. “Googling the error message” image is literally hanging on my office wall.

[–] jxk@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Writing Useless Git Commit Messages, no doubt

load more comments (1 replies)

Fuck, I would love to rewrite the front end.

[–] OozingPositron@feddit.cl 3 points 11 months ago

Works on my machine.

[–] jsomae@lemmy.ml 3 points 11 months ago

i like the last one

[–] CPMSP@midwest.social 3 points 11 months ago

I'm too seen here. Time to hide.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago

I'm the donkey today - but it's okay since I'm writing some automated tests over the incomprehensible thing I wrote on Tuesday.

[–] gressen@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago

Its occasional coding by night for me.

[–] wewbull@feddit.uk 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Is that an armadillo? Forgetting how my own code works is my forte.

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

I thought it was a coral but kinda looks like could be a face in the left. Still probably a coral

load more comments
view more: next ›