this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2024
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askchapo

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top 27 comments
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[–] Owl@hexbear.net 34 points 3 months ago

The girl reading this.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 23 points 3 months ago

Capitalists

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 20 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Me because I'm the one true leftist and I'm great at beating myself up

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 19 points 3 months ago

Prohably either Goku, or my dad.

Apparently Lenin was a legit weighlifting guy and would bother people about exercise techniques.

But let's get real: it'd be every Dolph Lundgren late cold war red scare character.

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If we're including Red Army enlisted and officer corps or industrial and trade unionists my money's on one of them by virtue of the level of fitness they usually had to be in their positions.

If it's pure theoreticians, my money's on Lenin.

[–] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago

If we're including Red Army enlisted and officer corps or industrial and trade unionists my money's on one of them by virtue of the level of fitness they usually had to be in their positions.

It's probably some Olympian from a socialist country who didn't fall asleep in class and isn't a reactionary traitor. That 5 gold medal Cuban wrestler would beat the shit out of the vast majority of leftists.

[–] miz@hexbear.net 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

the bracket choices and seeding matter a lot.

[–] Florn@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago

I would win by default because there'd be nobody else in the room

[–] hypercracker@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago

Depending on whether you think Aleksandr Karelin is a leftist by virtue of being a USSR athlete, probably him

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

John Brown.

And he'd probablly use a giant fucking sword to do it.

[–] RaisedFistJoker@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago

prolly fidel right 6 4 and a full on guerilla fighter

[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago

there ain't a picture of bill haywood with anyone else where he ain't the biggest one there, hence the name

paul robeson would give him a run for it though

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 8 points 3 months ago

The ultimate leftist ofc: funny-clown-hammer

[–] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The capitalists would win because the socialists would be all destroying themselves.

[–] MeowZedong@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 3 months ago

Or they'd be confused and copy them while screaming, "competition breeds innovation!"

[–] Beetle_O_Rourke@hexbear.net 7 points 3 months ago

Trotsky, even if only in spirit

[–] mathemachristian@hexbear.net 7 points 3 months ago

Probably kropotkin? During his siberia arc?

[–] QueerCommie@hexbear.net 7 points 3 months ago
[–] bumpusoot@hexbear.net 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Obviously you're talking about famous leftists, otherwise the answer is some unknown beefy soviet guy.

The correct answer is obviously Gagarin, being of peak physical ability and with a dream in his heart. yuri

[–] T34_69@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Jeff Monson technically exists in the historical record even if he's not deceased... So, probably that guy

[–] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago

Hi, Jeff Monson here, do you like watching people get fucked for free?

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 months ago

Lenin was pretty athletic iirc, marx got into a lot of duels but that involved weaponry. I think marx would win most 1v1s if he was given alcohol

[–] AmericaHaterSexHaver@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago
[–] Hewaoijsdb@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago

Probably a buff Red Army guy

[–] Aquilae@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago

The One True Leftist

That being me, of course.

[–] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago

All the answers here suck lol. The real answer is a combat sport athlete of a socialist country who paid attention in class and isn't a reactionary at heart. Like, the 5-gold medal Cuban wrestler would beat the shit out of the vast majority of people.

[–] SmokinStalin@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago

Suprised no one's mentioned Monkey D Luffy, Warlord of the seas.