chat

If I die in his body do I die for real?

Shoot someone on 5th avenue.

Do a stump speech where I start off dismissing people call me a racist xenophobe by doing the usual “I love Mexicans, I have many good friends that are Mexican” bit but slowly start making it about how many I hire, how hard working they are, really more hard working than white people, “it’s true, I’m sorry, it’s true,” start denigrating white people as lazy, some vague allusion that I pulled some strings to make them “legal,” but also amping up the stereotyping language in describing Mexicans. Piss off both sides.

Shit my pants and then donate all my money (anonymously and secretly) to communist orgs

IDK the dysphoria would be pretty debilitating so probably cry

KMSAEAM

Alt answer: get revenge on that NAFO dude, I still can't believe the would-be assassins keep missing.

I’d tell all his kids that I love them and I’m proud of them. I feel like it would be fun to see how that plays out later.

It's tempting to give some kind of surreal speech but honestly pretty hard to compete with my first thought which is contacting a bunch of my big donors and telling them that we need to have an emergency meeting in which everyone gathers together in one convenient location.

Make a sweaty video post about how qanon is real.

😮‍💨 Finish it by reading a list of core conspirator names that is just a list of everyone who ever slighted me 💅.

Then get into a high speed car chase and armed standoff with the cops.

Jail Taylor Swift for being racist against white people.

Find out what mercury tastes like

25 hour poison.

Alternatively

Convince MAGA that I have been replaced with a clone and should not be trusted.

That would somehow be the day there's a successful assassin and he'd get a new 32 year old body. He'd hate it cause he'd be poor but I'd like it less cause I'd be dead.

End the Ukraine war in one day like he says he can. What do you mean he's bullshitting?

Hard to get anything substantial done in 24 hours, but maybe if I say that I'll have "our beautiful marine corps" invade Israel to decapitate the terrorist Netanyahu government to replace it with a democratic alternative that includes the Palestinians then Trump will stick with it when he regains control simply because he's too stubborn to admit that his body was possessed by someone else.

Give a speech talking about how cool trans people are.

Folks, the bourgeois, they're no good, more and more people are saying it. All these workers— the biggest, we have the biggest workers— very handsome workers come up to me and say, Comrade Trump there is a specter haunting Europe, and you know what, they're right. These bourgeois are very nasty people, very very rude, and very unfair to the workers. They are stealing our surplus value and no one is doing anything about it. The proletariat comes up to me every day and says, Comrade Trump will you lead the revolution? And I gotta turn to them and say look, the instruments of capitalism will be used to bring about its destruction, believe me. The means of production, Obama never wanted to seize them. Well guess what? I'm seizing them. Landlords? They're done for folks. Everyone told me— they said, Comrade Trump you won't be the vanguard of the revolution and they would laugh, the media laughed the democrats laughed, guess who's laughing now?

I’d do a trump impression and claim that my concepts of a plan are now a full plan and I say, here is my plan and we are going to stop arming or selling weapons to anyone. And in fact we are cutting the military budget by 90% and that we are going to focus on women and give them paid vacation when they are pregnant and we are going to use our surplus money to fund schools and teachers and build housing for the poor and make Medicare for all. Oh and we are going to tax anyone who makes over 10 million a year at 100%.

Leak all of the stuff from the epstien collaboration days.

Release the tax returns

Are you a cop?

Strip down during a campaign event and play my ass like bongo drums

i'd have his blood replaced w/ mayo

have a Budd Dwyer moment.

Troll followers all day, troll rallies even harder, and when asked about odd sudden turns on things troll the interviewer and mention DPRK as an inspiration. Also grift a few popular figures extra hard to create animosity for later. I'm also tempted to have a free for all McD's fish sandwich meal and unlimited diet cokes for one of said rallies so poorly planned so it reeks up the place just because.

Make an appearance on some weird Fox news show, go on a long rant about how all true patriots must ascend to a higher realm to achieve true amerikkkan freedom, and then pull a Budd Dwyer, redecorating the set with blood and brains.

put a bomb in my ass that's going to detonated in 25 hours